It's All Coming Back To Me Now
By: Shellie - shelliemg at gmail.com
Chapter 5
"Good afternoon, thank you for calling, Shannon speaking."
"I’m sorry, who is this?" his voice was somewhat familiar but the cellular phone he was on made it a little too unclear for her to place.
"Shannon."
"Shannon James?"
She hesitated. "Y-Yes."
This time it was him that paused. Then, finally, "Hi….It’s JC."
Every hair on her body stood on end. "Oh….hello. You looking for Lynn?"
"Justin actually. He said he might be at his mom’s office. You…you work for her?" he sounded extremely surprised.
"Yes sir."
"If you call me sir again, I will drive over there and smack you."
"I’ve been smacked before."
"Oh God, Sha. I didn’t mean it like that….I’m so sorry."
She’d known he’d do that. She’d intentionally pressed his buttons. Why? She tried to laugh it off. "Chill, JC. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have said that."
"What happened to you calling me Josh?"
"Josh is a guy in my past."
"Well, I’ll be JC if it means I can be a part of your future, Sha. Or Scott, even, I can go by anything just-"
"Justin isn’t here now, but I will tell him that you called." She hung up. Her heart in her throat. Why did he always affect her that way? His voice…she could see exactly what his face looked like with every word that he spoke. He was permanently imprinted in her mind. She knew his face as well as she knew her own.
Justin pulled open the door and grinned. "Sha!! What up, hot mama?"
"I am gonna tell Taylor about how fresh you get with me."
"She knows that secretly I’m in love with you. In fact, just last night I asked her if she minded if you and I had sex and she said not at all." He smiled as he leaned across the desk to give her a smacking kiss on the cheek.
Sha leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms as she grinned up at her friend. "Oh? She did? Hmmmm." Sha reached over and punched a button automatically dialing her apartment number. Justin’s hand flew over and hung up.
"Mmmm, that’s what I thought, Timberlake."
"Damn, you’re hard on a brotha. I’m just trying to take care of ya. I knows that yous gots needs, honey. I just wanna make sure you’re happy."
"First, Justin, you’re not a "brotha". As hard as it may be for you to deal with, it’s the harsh truth. Second, what makes you think that I can’t satisfy my own needs?" she wobbled her head sassily.
He reached for his crotch, "Oooooh, next time you…um…satisfy your own needs…can I watch?"
She reached for the phone again and he stopped her. "Are you trying to get me killed!?" he wailed giggling.
Justin’s mom walked out of her office and frowned at her son. "Is there a reason you’re standing in here holding yourself?"
"Shannon was talking dirty."
Lynn and Sha both rolled their eyes.
"JC just called you." Sha called as Justin started into his mom’s office and he stopped.
"Did you talk to him?"
"Yeah. He was shocked I was here. He didn’t know?"
Justin blushed guiltily. "No. I should have told him but I was trying to keep him out of your hair."
"It’s okay. I told him I’d pass you the message."
"Cool. You okay, Sha?"
"Yes! It’s fine. Go!" Lynn’s door clicked shut behind him and Shannon was left to her own thoughts.
**
"Honey, I was gonna start making a list of things I need to start packing for the tour. Do you have anything specific in mind?"
JC looked up at Bobbie as she stood in the doorway and smiled sadly. She really was a beautiful girl. Too bad.
"B, honey….come here."
She crawled up on the couch next to him and took his outstretched hand. "Yes, baby?"
He looked down at her slender hand in his own, running his thumb over her knuckles gently as he sat silently trying to figure out what exactly he was about to say. "Bobbie…about this tour…"
"I’m actually kind of excited about it. I don’t know how long that will last but…"
"Bobbie….I really don’t want to disappoint you….but, maybe you shouldn’t get all that excited."
"What….what do you mean?"
"Well….god, B, I’m so sorry……but I" he let go of her fingers, standing to walk to the living room window seeing not what was outside, but a reflection of himself and her in the glass, "I don’t want you to go with me this time."
"What? Why?" she stood confused and stared at his reflection. He closed his eyes hating himself for doing this. Knowing it was the right thing didn’t make it any easier.
"Bobbie. I can’t believe I am saying this. I honestly never thought I would but….I want you to go home."
"Home? But JC…this is my home…I live with you."
"Well, maybe you should go back to your parents or…I don’t know…maybe get your own place.. I just…." His voice trailed off and hers took over.
"You just don’t want me living here anymore. I understand." She didn’t sound whimpery and sad like he’d expected. Her voice was cold. He watched her in the window as she turned to walk away.
Two hours later JC lay in bed alone. Bobbie had packed a bag and walked out in less than an hour. Not a tear shed. He knew she thought he would come around but not this time. Not anymore. For six months he’d felt dead, like there was nothing inside of him but the music that came out of his mouth. And even that didn’t seem to come from his heart anymore. And then today…he had found it.
He wished to god he’s never lost it to begin with…
**
JC knocked and stepped back, nervously waiting for her to answer. What the hell was he going to say? What would she say?
The door rattled slightly and he could feel her watching him through the peephole before it flew inward and he was nearly knocked to the ground.
"Josh! Oh my god! You’re home."
The unease he’d felt for the past few weeks slowly dissipated as he held her soft body to his. "I am. And I brought you a present."
"No! Josh! You have sent me so many as it is! What’s wrong with you. The UPS man and I have become rather good friends since you’ve been gone. You can’t keep doing this!"
"You didn’t like the presents?"
"Well of course I did! You just sent too damn many of them."
He brushed his lips across her forehead. "Ooh, such nasty words from such a pretty mouth." He’d started it then. The change. And he hadn’t even known it.
She blushed and pulled back. "Sorry." He slid his arm around her shoulders and walked with her inside. He’d convinced himself that over the last month he’d gotten over his infatuation with her. They were friends and that was it. He knew now, as her body brushed his side just barely, that he had been very, very wrong.
"Why aren’t you wearing any of the stuff I bought you?"
She looked down at her khaki’s and white shirt and shrugged. "I…I didn’t wanna mess them up. They are so nice."
"Wear them. I wanna see how pretty you are in them." He teased. "I was so bad. Bobbie would drag me out shopping with her and I would see all this stuff and I’d be like, ohhh that would match Shannon’s eyes, or oh, I like that, I think Sha would look beautiful in that. It was crazy. I couldn’t buy it then…not with her there so I would call my cell and leave myself voice mails of where it was and all that. Then, later, I’d make Melinda go back and get it. She hated me but it gave her an excuse to go shopping so she did it."
"Josh! I can’t believe you! You’re gonna get in trouble one of these days."
"Oh fuck her. I don’t care. If I want you to have something, god damnit, I am gonna get it for you. Now, run in there and put on some of those expensive ass clothes I bought you and show me how good I did." He handed her his latest purchase and pushed her forward swatting her lightly on the butt as he did. She giggled softly and disappeared into her room.
He walked to the fridge. "Damn! What is this shit you have in here? Hot dogs? Who the hell eats hot dogs? Gross. At least you have Dr. Pepper. Hey! Put that yellowy gold sweater on…the furry one. I loved it."
A few minutes later she returned. "Of course I have Dr. Pepper, what the hell do you think this is? I…I mean …sorry. I cursed again."
"It’s okay, but if I am gonna be hanging out around here…we are gonna have to go to the grocery store." He walked slowly towards her, his eyes scanning the sweater shaped perfectly to her body. She had on a pair of cream silk slacks and she’d taken her hair down from its haphazard knot. It was shiny and dark against her shoulder.
Don’t do it JC. Stop. No, no, no. Even as his common sense protested he slid his arms around her waist pulling her body to his. She looked up at him through her thick dark lashes. "Are you planning on spending more time around here, Joshy?"
His head bent as his lips sought hers on their own. "It’s a very good possibility. You look absolutely amazing." The slightest brush…so slight he almost didn’t feel it. Then she raised up on her toes, sealing her mouth to his so perfectly that there was no turning back. His arms tightened around her, almost lifting her off the floor as he plundered her mouth with his tongue. He stood, breaking their kiss and she sighed, resting her forehead against his chest.
"God, I missed you Josh. I missed you so much."
They went to the grocery store, filled the cabinets, she’d made his dinner and filled his tummy. And then like it had always been the way of things…they made love.
**
Shannon looked up at the rapid beating on her door. She groaned at the site of him. "You again! God, Justin, first you torture me at work, now you torture me at home? Away with you!" she flung her hand in a dismissive gesture, which he completely ignored.
He laughed and came in, climbing onto the opposite end of her bed and leaning against the wall. "What are you doing you mean ole bitch?"
"Reading." She eyed him curiously. "Why? What are you up to?"
"What makes you think I am up to something?" he stared at her.
"Because, you know that Taylor isn’t here and you come to visit all of a sudden and now you’re in here. What are you doing?" she squinted her eyes suspiciously.
"Well…."
"I knew it. Just spit it out."
He drew his knees up, resting his arms on them, his hands out in front of them and he began to pick at his thumbnail. "Well, you know that in a little over a week I am going on tour."
"Yes."
"And…well, I would kind of like Taylor to go with me."
"Oh! That would be so fun!"
"But…she won’t."
She frowned, "You already asked her?"
He nodded. "A few weeks ago. She said there was only one way she would go." He looked over at her, his eyes pleading. She had already begun to shake her head.
"Justin…I can’t. I’m sorry but I can’t do it. See him…everyday and Bobbie…I think I’d die. I’m sorry Justin."
He frowned. "You wouldn’t hardly have to see him at all, Sha. You can do your own thing, you don’t have to go to the shows, you can shop and …" he sighed. He’d known what her answer would be. "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even asked. I just thought I’d give it a shot."
"What the hell are you two up to now?" Taylor called as she pushed Shannon’s door open all the way with her foot. "Mmmmhmmmm, come home a few minutes early and catch your ass in bed with my best friend."
Sha smiled and winked. "Well, Taylor, sometimes you just have to face the facts. These NSync men, they just can’t resist me. First Jos-..JC, then Joey…now Justin. Two more and my collection is complete."
Justin grinned and gaped at the same time. The shit the two of them came up with amazed him. Slowly over time Shannon had come back to life. Back from the empty shell she had become and into "the old Sha" as Taylor so happily referred to her. "The old Sha" cursed, made suggestive comments, and could many times give Taylor a run for her money. That in itself was a feat not many could pull off. Especially him. When he was over there he was entirely at their mercy. Him having spent most of his life with chicks eating out of the palm of his hand made it difficult to accept at first, but over time he had fallen in love with them both though in very different ways.
He remembered when JC had come to him that afternoon, asking for advice for his friend who was having the trouble at home. He’d known for quite some time now who it had been. He remembered the ache in JC, the protectiveness….he understood where it came from. He just couldn’t understand where JC has lost it at….or how.
"Justin hung his head. "Oh damnit, Taylor. Does this mean you are gonna have to punish me again?"
She made a sad face. "Oh, I think so….as much as it pains me."
Sha dropped to her pillow covering her face with her book. "Can I vomit now? Get the sappy love sex bullshit out of my room!" Justin scrambled from the bed and out the door. Taylor winked and waved and in a second she found herself alone.
She rolled onto her stomach and tossed her novel onto the floor. She hadn’t read more than a page without having to go back and read three times. Ever since he’d called she hadn’t been able to get him off her mind. He’d been gone for so long….well, mostly gone, and she was doing so good. Getting on with life…kinda. She wasn’t dating but in the way of boyfriends the only ones she had to look at were hers and her moms. What a pair. No, that wasn’t true. There was Justin. He was the best guy in the world. Why couldn’t she have gotten one like that?
And now the guilt. To top off the Josh thoughts, she had to feel guilty for keeping Justin and Taylor apart while he was on tour….that brought even more Josh thoughts. Damnit! She pounded her fists into the bed.
Could she do it? Face him every single day? She squeezed her eyes and there he was. He always came to her unexpectedly. She’d be in the middle of a project at work or reading a book and she’d blink her eyes and there he’d be…waiting in her mind’s eye. His perfect features, his eyes…those lips. She gasped as chills coursed the length of her body at the thought of his lips on her neck. He nipples hardened painfully and her blood began to warm.
"No, no, no!" she almost yelled as she sat up, getting up from the bed and slipping her feet into her sandals before walking out the back door. She wondered the small back patio area until her mind settled. She then climbed into the hammock so tired of it all. Sadly it occurred to her that even there she couldn’t escape him.
**
"There you are." She found him lying naked in the hammock, eyes closed…like a god…her god. One leg was slightly bent, his right arm raised to rest behind his head. He turned his head and opened his eyes when she spoke.
"I was wondering when you’d find me. You coming?"
She nodded hauling the comforter with her as she went.
"You better be naked under there."
She flashed the front of her makeshift wrap open and he grinned sexily reaching for her with his left hand. "You can come, but the blankie has to go."
She dropped it to the floor her body glowing in the morning light. "God, Sha…you’re so beautiful…" She’d almost told him then that she loved him.
She rolled into the hammock her head resting on his chest, her leg thrown across his. His right arm slinked over her back to cup her bottom. He squeezed it playfully. She bit his nipple, he smacked her lightly and she felt him harden against her thigh.
She sighed. "Talk to me J, you don’t talk much anymore."
"Whaddu ya mean?" his question rumbled against her ear.
"You used to come to me and tell me your problems, but…you don’t anymore."
"When I am with you…I don’t have problems. You make them go away."
She smiled, not quite comforted with his answer, not quite not. He’d rolled toward her then, changing the subject in the most powerful way. He pulled her hip high circling his waist with it, opening her to him as he slid slowly into her. She’d gripped his arm with one hand knotted her fingers through the hammock with the other and held on as he’d rocked them to ecstasy, whispering erotic words in her ear as she panted his name.
They’d spent a good portion of the day there just being. Not speaking for hours at a time, napping, making love. And on occasion having little conversations about this and that.
"Isn’t your birthday coming up soon?"
She smiled and nodded. "Yep, next month. The 26th."
"You’ll be 18?"
"Uh huh."
"Do you know how evil that makes me feel?"
She grinned, "Want me to call you old man when were makin’ love?"
"NO! You better not!" he’d laughed. Her age was always such a big deal to him. But it was only one of many things on that list.
**
JC walked the length of the house again. 7 days. I can make it in this empty house for 7 more days. I can. His arms flailed through the air in frustration. "Fuck!!! I am losing my god damned mind!"
He walked to the phone and picked it up. He had 7 of the 11 digits to Bobbie’s parents house punched in the receiver before he slammed it back down.
He walked 4 steps away before turning and picking it back. The numbers he punched in this time were different.
**
The chirping began again. "Shit!" Shannon rolled out of the hammock and yanked open the back door muttering the entire way. "Obviously he is not there. If going into his voice mail for the 16th time doesn’t clue you in you I will!"
She snatched up Justin’s cell phone from the coffee table and looked at the caller id. The name that flashed across the screen stopped her dead in her tracks. She held it watching it like it was possessed as it chirped 3 more times before falling silent. Her heart was racing. Her panic began to ebb and then the chirping began again.
She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and pressed talk. "He’s not here."
"Who is this? Taylor?"
"No, Josh. You’ve managed to nail me twice in one day. Are you dying or something? You’ve called like 20 times. Don’t you take hints?"
He was very, very quiet. What Shannon couldn’t see was that he had fallen backwards onto the couch. "Sha?"
"Yes."
"Where’s Justin?"
"He’s indisposed?"
"Pardon?"
"He’s in the bed with Taylor. Should I interrupt, obviously you have an emergency."
"No..no. Well…I…." He laughed sadly, "Actually, you remember how I used to wig out and come running to you to pour my sad little heart out. I’m having one of those moments now and I have no where to pour."
"Why don’t you pour into Bobbie, she seems to be empty…should be plenty of room."
"Bobbie’s gone. I think that is part of the reason why I am wiggin…this house is way too damn quiet."
"Where’d she go now? Shopping in Paris perhaps? Lounging by the pool at the Spa with mommy dearest?"
"No." his voice was quiet, "Actually, I sent her home….for good."
The breath whooshed out of Shannon like a fist to the gut. I sent her home…I sent her home…I sent her home…for good.
"Well….what will people think? Wasn’t she "perfect"?"
"Not by a long shot."
"Do you want me to give Justin a message?"
"Sha…don’t just bail on me. Please…at least for a few minutes. I…"
She looked up as Justin peeked his head out Taylor’s door down the hall. "Who the fuck is it?"
Sha waved him away and he disappeared back inside. "JC…I just don’t think I can. You…you just represent a part of my life that I have closed."
"We used to be so good together, Sha…"
"No. That part died long, long ago, JC. There was so much bad…it just covers up the good."
"I wish I could take it all back…I’d give everything I own…"
"You tried that JC….but that wasn’t what I wanted."
JC sat dead still unable to respond. The silence dragged on for two…three…four solid minutes until in the quietest of voices she whispered. "I’m sorry, J, I have to go now. I will tell Justin that you called." The phone went dead in his ear.
He flung the fucking phone across the room. "How did I do this? How did I fuck this up so bad?" he screamed at the ceiling. It echoed back at him hauntingly. He fell to his knees face buried in his hands and whispered again, afraid of the echo…."How did I fuck this up…so bad?"
**
Where the hell could she be? Why now? Never since he’d known her had she not been there when he’d needed her. She didn’t do anything…..she didn’t go anywhere. Where the fuck could she possibly be now?
He dialed her number again. "Please leave your message after the tone."
"Fuck." He chunked the phone into his floorboard and turned into the apartment complex. He’d been to Publix and Walmart looking for her, she didn’t even have a god damned car. Where could she have gone?
He pulled into her drive and took the stairs two at a time. She was standing at the kitchen counter listening wide-eyed to his messages when he burst in. The door bounced on its hinges with his force and she backed away slightly as he approached. "Where hell have you been?"
"I…I just went to the store."
"Which store?"
"Publix."
"I checked there, you weren’t at Publix."
"But I was…I got some more Dr. Pepper and those chips you like and took the bus back home."
"You took the bus?" His voice rang with disbelief.
"Well, I don’t drive, how else am I gonna get around?"
He didn’t respond and turned to walk the length of the room. "I don’t like not knowing where you are. I can’t deal with all this shit right now. Shit at home, shit here…Jesus Christ, you bitches are gonna drive me out of my mind." He ran his fingers through his hair and turned around. When he saw her he smirked, sarcasm dripping from his voice like molasses, "Oh don’t look at me like that. I wasn’t fuckin’ calling you a bitch." He rolled his eyes as he spoke.
Her voice was barely audible in the silent room. "I’m sorry Josh, I didn’t think you’d come by…I wont leave without telling you where I am going again if that is what you want." She licked her bottom lip nervously. Her tongue flicking out teasing him, taunting him… She was doing it on purpose.
"What was that? I couldn’t hear you?" He slowly approached and she repeated her apology timidly. "Yes, I do want you to. Leave a note or something. Now come here."
She looked scared. His eyes roamed over her slowly coming to rest on her breasts. She was wearing one of the silk blouses he’d bought her, she always wore "his" clothes now days, and he could see the lace of her bra through the thin cloth.
"You wore this out?"
She looked down at her clothing curiously. "Yes…is there something wrong with it?"
"No, you look beautiful…" he cupped her breasts in his hands, "but I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the fact that you’re showing your tits to every old fuck in the grocery store."
"But…"
"I can see them, Sha…that means they can too." Her nipples were becoming aroused by his touch and he pinched one hard drawing a surprised gasp from her.
"I…I’m sorry, Josh. I didn’t realize that it was that revealing. I’ll be more careful next time."
He wasn’t paying attention to her words, only the strain of his cock against the front of his jeans. "Mmmm, your nipples are so hard…" he bent sucking one into his mouth, shirt, bra and all. He sucked hard, biting slightly before releasing and reaching for the buttons on the front of her blouse. In his anxiousness to have if off, he skipped the last three buttons opting instead just to yank the shirt open. His eyes devoured the shimmery lace of her bra. "I knew this would look so good on you. Do you have the panties on too?" He began to tug at her skirt. She nodded yes and he took her hand, pulling her with him into her bedroom. He climbed onto the bed and began to pull on his shirt. "Strip…take off your shoes and skirt…I wanna see the outfit on you." His blood was like liquid fire running through his veins. He yanked his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor as she slipped off first one shoe then the other. He had to see her body… "Hurry, now the skirt. I wanna see you." He could see her nipple almost completely through the wet cloth where his mouth had been just a few minutes earlier. His dick was throbbing as he shoved his pants over his hips and onto the floor. Her skirt touched the carpet and he stared at her in the virgin white lace bra and panty set that he had paid a fortune for. It was worth every cent.
He slid to the end of the bed and sat watching as he stroked himself slowly. "Touch your breasts." She blushed but as always…she did his bidding. His sex with Bobbie – what little there was – was always dull and dry – literally. His sex with Shannon was normally very romantic and sweet. This sudden rush of raw eroticism had his drives in overload and he liked it. He liked it a lot. She cupped her breasts slowly and she let her eyes drift closed. "Oh, Sha, baby, play with you nipples…make it feel good, baby." She followed his instruction, rolling her nipples between her fingers, pinching, tugging.
"Come here." She opened her eyes and approached. He motioned towards his swollen shaft and she dropped carefully to her knees before him taking his sex first in her hand and then into her mouth. He growled pressing on the back of her head harder than usual forcing more of his length into her mouth than she was prepared to handle. He felt her gag and slid his hands into her hair. "Come on, baby, you can take it."
She tried again and again he felt her gag. Frustrated he pulled her up and pushed her on her back onto the bed. "Can’t handle it in your mouth, eh baby?" he slid two fingers around the edge of her panties and into her wet center, "Oh, but I bet you could take it there couldn’t you?"
Her back arched off the bed and she moaned. His control slipped and he shoved her panties to the side, sliding his entire length into her in one hard thrust. She screamed, her nails gripping his shoulders digging into him as he pulled out and again entered her with a powerful thrust. He reached with one hand pulling the lacy cups of her bra down on both sides exposing her full white breasts to him, allowing him to see them bounce when he rammed into her again and again.
She wrapped her legs around his waist raising her hips to meet his. As he leaned to suck her puckered nipple into his mouth his movements caused his mouth to slide off her nipple and onto the side of her breast where he continued to suck. Her body peaked, hitting her release and causing her inner muscles to clamp around him tightly. His cock exploded and he bit down bruising the tender flesh with his teeth as he filled her.
A movement beneath him brought him suddenly awake. Realizing he was still laying on her he moved carefully to the side. Her face was turned away from him as his eyes slid over her. He’d been rough. What the hell?
He pushed up onto one arm. "Sha?"
She turned to face him sleepily. "Hmmm?"
"Are you okay?" She nodded. "I was too rough. I didn’t mean to hurt you."
She smiled faintly. "You only hurt me once…" She touched the bite mark on her breast and his eyes doubled.
"Oh my god! I’m so sorry."
He realized now, as he lay face down on the sofa that his words before they’d made love…he shuttered to even call it that…hurt her more than even the bite ever could have.
**
"Who the hell kept calling?" Justin asked as he pulled his shirt down over his stomach.
Shannon ignored him and continued to stare at the television. She could see Justin as he bent to pick up his phone and check the caller ID. His brows rose as he looked her. She turned to look at him unsmiling.
"You ok?" his voice was soft.
"Yes."
"What was wrong with him?"
She shrugged and flipped off the tv rolling into a sitting position to look at him. "He was flipping out. Bobbie is gone and he can’t stand the quiet."
"What do you mean Bobbie is gone?" his voice showed surprise.
"He said he sent her home for good. She’s gone…moved out….broke up."
"Whoa. So she’s not going on the tour?"
Shannon could almost hear Justin’s mind at work. "I would assume not."
"Hmmmm, that would mean-" he stopped himself, "nevermind."
"Just let me think about it, Justin. Okay?"
He nodded and went back to find what was taking Taylor so long.
Shannon dropped her head to the back of the couch and closed her eyes. She knew that everyday when she looked at Taylor she was going to feel like an asshole if she didn’t go on this tour…but which would be worse? Asshole or heartbreak? At least she wouldn’t have to see Bobbie too. That would have killed her….seeing Miss Perfect everyday.
**
"If you don’t like her, J, then why do you date her?" Sha blurted in frustration.
"Because she’s the perfect girl for me to date."
"But she’s not perfect."
"In everyone else’s eyes she is." He’d stated firmly.
Shannon had rolled her eyes. Day after day she listened to him complain. Bobbie this…Bobbie that… "So, I guess all that’ it’s not what on the outside but what’s inside that counts’ is all just bullshit, huh?"
"Sometimes."
Fuck you. Fuck you, Joshua Scott Chasez she screamed silently as he began to remove her clothing. She had absolutely no desire at all to make love to him that day but she did. She let him do as he wished, following his commands. It’s all she ever did lately. Sure, her body reacted…and apparently it didn’t bother him that she didn’t smile or coo. He continued to do it, week after week. It had been getting progressively worse…the talking less and less, the rough almost mean sex coming more and more frequently. Physically, she enjoyed the sex. The aggressiveness he showed turned her on, but the impersonal way he had begun to treat her the rest of the time was killing her inside.
It’ll pass, Sha. It will. He’s just going through a lot lately, with the lawsuit and all. Just be patient. You’re day will come. She tried again and again to convince herself. She’d been so wrong.
It had gotten worse. Shannon sighed and squeezed her tear filled eyes shut refusing to let even a single drop fall. "I’ve cried for you too many times." She whispered.
His words from earlier echoed through her ears…. "I’d give everything I own." He’d given her so much that it hadn’t meant anything anymore. Day after day the packages came. Clothes from all over, jewelry, trinkets. None of it meant a damn thing to her because none of it meant a damn thing to him. He was trying to make up for his behavior with them. Trying to make himself feel less guilty. Maybe he was trying to make sure she stayed. He’d even bought her a car. She smiled. That one she’d liked. The shiny red convertible Porsche Boxster had been soooo sweet. He’d pulled up honking his ass off one day and she’d run outside to see what was wrong.
She smiled at the memory. Maybe there were still a few rare moments of happiness tossed in there somewhere. He’d even taught her to drive it, although all of those days had definitely not been happy days.
She’d grown to resent the gifts and thus him. Especially the lingerie. They meant he was coming…and she would have to perform. But she’d carried on. Determined he would love her….that he did already and just didn’t realize it. One day, Bobbie’d be gone and she’d be the one…
Shannon wanted to laugh out loud….or vomit. How she had stayed for so long she didn’t understand. Love was one thing…maybe she even loved him still, but she’d lost what little bit of herself she’d had to him and gained nothing worth having in return. Well, Bobbie was gone….
She shook her head standing and heading for her room. "Don’t even think it you moron." She muttered. She was losing her damn mind.