Lustful Memoirs
By: Gina - gina@basic-nstynct.com
Chapter NineWith a final stroke, I finished my swim. It was a good opportunity to cleanse my mind of the happenings of the day before. I was more determined then ever not to let Justin affect me. I left the pool area wrapped in my robe. As I walked through the small sitting room, I noticed a book lying on the table. It was a marble notebook; the type one would use in elementary school. On the front, written in chicken scribble were the words, "Joshua Chasez, 01/01/99 -. Lyrics and thoughts." My curiosity was in overdrive. If ever I was given the opportunity to solve the mystery of this man, I might have it right then. The thought swirled in my mind for a couple of moments as I peered at the writing on the cover, which I presumed belonged to him. I felt the urge from deep within me to pick up the book, walk to my room and read everything that he had written. But I knew that I couldn't go through with it. I cherished my privacy and was sure that he did his. But I wondered why he would leave such a personal item laying in plain view where everyone would have access to it. Maybe it was because he trusted people, maybe he just simply forgot it, or maybe he didn't care who read it. I didn't think that the last option was the case. I picked up the book, determined to find him and return it. I walked into the living room and heard the now familiar music coming from the studio below. He must be down there, I thought to myself.
I opened the door and was about to begin my descent, when I collided with someone running up the steps. I lost my balance and he grabbed me. I could feel the familiar sensation of his hands on my shoulders.
"We need to stop meeting like this." I said, trying to keep my tone jovial.
"Yeah, sorry. I left something in the sitting room and in my haste to retrieve it, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
My cheeks burned, I knew that he was referring to the item I had in my hands. At the same time that I realized this, he seemed to notice the item held tight in my grasp. He looked from my eyes to the item and then back.
"Is this what you are looking for?" I questioned meekly. I could only imagine what thoughts were coursing through his mind.
Anger flared in his eyes, the red color of rage threatening to take over the blue. He grabbed the book from my hand roughly and stared at me.
"JC," I began, "I didn't read it. I swear. I saw it laying in the sitting room and didn't think that you would want it left out in the open like that, so I was attempting to bring it to you."
He looked into my eyes and then glanced down the length of my body. I was covered from neck to foot in the terry cloth towel, still his gaze burned through me. His eyes once again met mine, the anger no longer there. He nodded his head and walked away, his book tight within his grasp. I stood still, unable to move, barely able to breathe. He once again had left me breathless and wondering. Why was he so antisocial? I didn't understand. Coming to the conclusion that I had wasted too much time debating this question, I turned and headed to my room. A warm shower and a change of clothes later, I found myself in the studio watching them rehearse.
The mood today was different, tensions were rising and tempers were flaring. The jovial manner in which the group worked yesterday was gone. My gaze met Justin's and he smiled at me. I smiled back at him, hoping that he wouldn't see through the fakeness of it. He did nothing but annoy me. He turned away and returned to the dance moves. Joey stepped on his foot, but Justin said nothing. It was the harsh bitter remarks from JC's lips that sent me and everyone else in the room whirling. "Joey, you want to try and pay attention, we only have a couple of more hours to learn these dance moves and your apathy doesn't help much."
Justin stood between the two of them. JC looked ready for battle and Joey appeared like he was ready to laugh. "Let's take a break." Justin muttered much to JC's dismay. JC regarded Justin with a look that would have killed him if that were possible. The other guys grabbed water and sat around; Justin walked JC into the other room and shut the door. The conversation could not be heard, but everyone was sure that Justin was calming JC down. I learned that he had the capability to do that. Well, at least he has one good quality I quietly thought to myself.
As quickly as they had left they returned. JC picked up his bag and walked out of the studio, as Justin announced that rehearsal was over for the day to the dumbfound expression on the other guys faces. Still shaking their heads, they all departed. Lance stopped at the door and turned to me. "We will probably be leaving in an hour or so," he began, "if you still want to go."
"Okay." I replied as he disappeared through the door. My mind was working overtime. What was the story behind those intense ocean blue eyes?