Lustful Memoirs
By: Gina - gina@basic-nstynct.com
Chapter EighteenAfter nervously preparing for the coming evening I slowly took the steps to JC’s room. I noticed that the door was partly open. Not wanting to invade his privacy, I knocked lightly on the door, being careful not to cause it to part further. I stood waiting for an answer for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, I pushed the door open. The room was empty. Sighing to myself I turned around, deciding that I would check the studio. I descended the stairs and just as I had thought I found JC leaning over the control panel. I sat on one of the couches outside the glass enclosed studio and observed him. His total attention focusing on the buttons and knobs before him. Intensity burned in his blue eyes. He held me transfixed. The sounds he was creating could not be heard through the soundproofed room, but he didn’t seem satisfied with it. He continued to adjust it, listen to it again, frown, and then start the process over. It took quite awhile for him to either grow bored of it or become satisfied with it, for he shut down the machines and exited the room. He glanced at me as he closed the door through which he had just passed, then he peered down at his watch.
"Sorry, we had a date didn’t we?" He said not looking at me.
"It’s not a problem," I replied standing to approach him. I wore the dress that I found in my closet. It was dark blue silk and clung to my body. His eyes gazed from my head to my toes and then met my eyes.
"I’m going to go take a shower, can you meet me out by the pool in two hours?" He asked the question, his voice low, his eyes burning through mine. He didn’t bother waiting for an answer, he passed by me and left. I stood still for moments, once again he had managed to totally throw me off guard. It was going to be a long night, I thought to myself.
I waited until the requested time and then made my way out to the pool, the soft silk dress still hanging on my body. I didn’t know what he had planned, but it was far easier to stay dressed up and to change if I needed, then the other way around. I approached the pool and saw his thin frame reclining on one of the lawn chairs. I came to stand directly in front of him. His eyes were closed and I assumed that he was sleeping for there wasn’t an indication that he knew I was there. I observed him. He wore the same clothes he had on earlier and even though his face was cast in shadow, the days growth of beard could be seen. His feet were bare as his shoes rested under the chair. The shower, that he insisted that he needed, must have been forgone. I began to walk away when I heard him shift. I turned and looked at him. Our eyes met, his red and puffy as if tears had recently escaped from the depth of blue. I walked toward him, noticing as I did that the lawn chair was surrounded by green bottles, one of which he held in his hand. He took a drink of the beer and looked at me. The pain he was feeling was evident. The image cast before my eyes was that of a man broken from heartache drowning away his sorrows in a bottle of alcohol. Immediately I took pity on him. I longed to help him, I knew that the liquid he poured down his throat offered him no solace. I sat on the chair across from him and looked out over the pool.
"JC," I began, my tone soft and soothing, "is there something that I can do for you?"
I asked the question and awaited his response, minutes of silence passed until he cleared his throat and began to speak.
"You could leave me the hell alone." His tone was harsh, leaving no room for further comment. Anger flushed through my body as I rose from the chair. I looked down on him.
"Alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you but I can tell you as an outsider I can see that it is affecting everyone around you that cares about you. When are you going to stop being so stubborn and selfish and get over it. There are people here that want to help and you just continue to go on your self destructive path. You don’t deserve anyone’s sympathy or caring because you don’t want to help yourself."
As soon as the words left my lips I regretted them. He was my employer and I had no business getting involved in his personal matters, but what I said was true. I didn’t care if he reported me to Johnny and wanted me to leave, it was about time someone told him exactly what effect his actions and attitude were having on those around him. I looked at him and he stared at me, shock registering on his face. We maintained our positions until he took a deep breath and said, "Get the hell away from me, you stupid bitch."
"Gladly," I replied, turning and walking toward the house. It took all of my strength not to throw his drunken ass in the pool. Anger had almost gotten the best of me. I didn’t routinely allow people to talk to me in that manner, but I knew that it was his own heartache coming through in his words. He was angry and distraught about something and he was looking for someone to take it out on. I took a deep breath and entered the house, deciding that I no longer cared. I knew that was a lie, I knew that I cared more then I should, but I also realized that there wasn’t anything that I could do. It was his own battle to fight.
I returned to my room and stripped the clothes from my body. I laid in my bed and curled into the covers. My thoughts were centered around the broken man that I had just encountered as I drifted off into sleep.
Shortly after I closed my eyes, I heard my door open. It wasn’t locked, I didn’t feel as though that was necessary. I turned in my bed, thinking that maybe someone had entered my room by mistake, when I noticed JC standing at the door. I sat up in bed, pulling the cover over my bare body. He approached me.
"JC, what are you doing here?" I questioned, trying to read his expression, however, it was pointless. His expression was blank. I could smell the alcohol on his breath even though four feet separated us. He approached me without answering. I could tell by the swagger of his steps that he was drunk. He grabbed the cover that I had securely held in my hand and pulled it off my bed. My breath caught in my throat. I sit on the bed, totally exposed to him. He began to undress. His shirt hit the floor and his pants and boxers were soon to follow. My body reacted to his nakedness. Although he was thin, his flesh was rippled with muscle. His penis protruded into the space between us. He was only a mere inches from me. He pushed me back on the bed, laying in the space next to me, keeping me immobile with the weight of his body covering half of mine. I tried to push him off of me, failing at my attempt. I put my hands on his chest and called his name. He was unmoved by my fighting, he continued to touch me, to fondle my breasts and run his fingers down between my legs. His mouth bit at the tender flesh of my chest and neck, his tongue leaving wet trails. My brain raged with thought, I knew that I should stop but I was powerless against him. With one final attempt, I was able to roll him off of me. He grabbed me before I had a chance to move off of the bed. Anger burned in his eyes, "Tonight is my night, isn’t it Blake?" He questioned, his tone repulsing me. "You are paid to do what I want one night a week and well, right now, I want to fuck." I felt myself fall back on the bed, his weight crushing me. Looking at the sorrow and hurt in his eyes, I stopped fighting. I wanted him to stop, I knew that I should continue to try and stop him, but I couldn’t. Part of me felt as though this would bring him comfort in some way, I never imaged the torment it would cause. I allowed him to continue his assault. He bit at my skin, leaving bruises across my neck and chest. Pain seared through my body, though mostly I felt want. I wanted him, completely for many reasons. I wanted him to release his pain, I wanted him to have these moments of physical pleasure to hold the emotional battles that raged behind his eyes at bay, even if only momentary. Mostly, I wanted him, I had since the first time our eyes met and if this was the way I was going to have him, then I would accept it. I relaxed my body, his legs entwined with mine. He positioned himself and I felt him enter me. He was still for a time then he started to thrust. Long even strokes, out and in. His pace was slow. I rubbed my hands along his back. I couldn’t see his face for it was buried in the pillow next to me, I could feel his heart beating uncontrollably, his chest expanding and contracting with each intake of air. His pace began to quicken, my body responding to him. My hips moving in rhythm with his. I lost all conscious thought as we continued our journey toward ecstasy. My body ached for release, as his pace became feverish. He pounded into me with an unknown abandon. It seemed as though he was releasing all of his pent up emotions and at the same time tapping into emotions that I have never experienced. With a final thrust of his hips, we hurled ourselves into the realm of release. He lay his body on top of mine, our sweat creating a barrier between our skin. I held him as his breathing returned to normal. I ran my fingers through his hair and rubbed his back, continuing to hope that I could bring him some comfort Minutes passed as I realized that he was sleeping. I rolled him off of me gently, careful not to wake him. He tossed and turned on the bed momentarily before becoming comfortable. I left the bed and retrieved the comforter that he had thrown on the floor. I covered his body with it and made my way into the bathroom. I took a quick shower and pulled on my robe. I entered my room to find JC in the same position that I had left him. He slept peacefully, hardly making a sound. When I could no longer hold my eyes open I retreated into my sitting room and laid down on the couch. Listening intently to the comfortable, rhythmic breathing coming from the nearby room, I immediately fell asleep.