Lustful Memoirs
By: Gina - gina@basic-nstynct.com
Chapter NineteenI opened my eyes as my ears were insulted by the incessant banging resonating through my room. I laid on the couch, exhaustion still radiating through my extremities. I longed to just ignore the person that woke me, however, I knew that the noise would not go away. I stood from the couch and approached the door, noticing on my way that my bed was neatly made and JC was gone. I pulled the door open to find Justin on the other side. After the night that had just passed, he was the last person that I wanted to see. I pulled my robe closer around my body, hoping to cover the small bruises that JC’s mouth had left on the tender skin of my neck. Justin pushed by me into the room, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for his arrogant assault.
"Have you seen JC?" The question barked and hurried.
I looked at him and shook my head. "I haven’t seen JC since yesterday." I replied, knowing that wasn’t the answer that he wanted.
"You and him were together last night weren’t you? What happened?"
I had to force myself to remain calm as the overpowering urge to pulverize the man that stood before me threatened to take over my body. "Justin, I was with JC last night. What we did, however, is really none of your business."
His eyes flashed with anger as he regarded me.
"Look, Blake, maybe you don’t care or understand, but I need to know what happened with JC last night. You know that he isn’t stable and you want to play these stupid fucking games. So just tell me."
I sat on the bed and once again looked at Justin, for the first time seeing the worry etched on his face. I slowly told Justin about the events of the night before. In some ways I felt as though I was betraying JC, however, I knew that Justin would do the right thing for him. Besides the fact that Justin was right, JC was far from stable. After I finished, I sat staring at the floor.
"Justin, I just want him to get better. I don’t know him that well, but every time I look at him, my heart breaks. I don’t know why, he’s a complete stranger to me, but the pain he is experiencing is evident."
Justin turned from me and walked toward the window. He took a deep breath as he tried in earnest to control his emotions. "We all want him to get better," Justin said, his voice barely a whisper. "We just don’t know what to do for him. He hasn’t been the same since…" His voice trailed off.
"I know that he lost someone. He told me once."
"He told you?" Justin asked, his face marked by unbelieving.
"He told me that I reminded him of someone that he had lost. That’s all he told me. He didn’t go into details. The pain in his eyes as he said only those few words was evident enough."
"He didn’t lose, it’s good that she is...," Justin started but then quickly stopped. The look in his eyes revealed that he felt as though he had said too much. "Look, Blake," he continued, "I don’t want to be an ignorant bastard here, and believe me I know I come across that way, but this really isn’t my business to be telling you."
"I understand." I reassured him, though I was interested in what he had to say, almost too much so, and I also felt as though he did want to talk. I decided that the best thing for me to do was to not force the issue.
He continued to look out the window. "I just don’t know where he could be. This has been affecting him for a long time, but it has never affected his work. Work has always been his top priority. I feel as though it was the only thing that helped him to survive the trauma that she put him through." His words trailed off once again and my interest in him continuing reached an all time high. So this woman that JC mourned so deeply wasn’t dead in the natural sense, only dead to him. I wondered what trauma Justin spoke of. What did she do to him? How did she hurt him? I had trouble understanding how someone could send him into the despair that he was currently in. It angered me, again an emotion that I shouldn’t feel. It was in those short moments that I observed Justin staring out the window that I realized something that would change the course of my life. These five guys that I was now employed by would never be mere employers. The circumstances surrounding them and their own personalities prevented anyone from being merely and employee, the people that worked for them were family and it was time that I started to accept that and not fight it. I cared about JC, so what? Did it mean that I had deeper feelings for him, maybe. The one thing that I was sure of was that no one was going to get close to him until he got better. In that moment, I made it my goal, to make him better regardless of what it took or what I had to sacrifice to do it.
I walked up behind Justin, placing my hands on his shoulders. I massaged his tension riddled skin. He relaxed slightly as I continued. I could see our reflection in the window before us. He looked like an innocent child being seduced by an older woman. The vision made me smile as I thought of our time together. He was far from innocent. My body began it’s insatiable longing. He turned around causing my hands to rest on his chest. He pulled me toward him and captured my head in his hands. He then leaned toward me placing his lips on mine. The kiss was gentle, not what I had expected. His hands moved from the sides of my head and down my neck, causing my robe to part. His mouth began to move from my mouth to my chin and then his lips made contact with my neck. I closed my eyes, my entire body lost in the sensation that he was causing with his lips. He licked the tender skin on my neck, and suddenly he stopped. He pulled away from me. It took me only a matter of seconds to realize what caused him to stop. I pulled away from him, my mind racing in panic. I hurriedly pulled my robe shut, however it was too late. He had noticed the marks on my neck that were caused by his best friend the night before.
"How did they get there? What happened last night?" His questions were barked. I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know what to say. I just stood staring at him.
"JC did that, didn’t he?" His question was softer, still I didn’t know how to respond. It really wasn’t any of his business.
"You let him do that? What the hell is going on between the two of you?"
I ignored all of his questions and walked away from him. I felt him move to follow me. I stopped. "Justin, get the hell out of my room." My tone was strong, unmoving. I hoped that he would heed the warning and leave. He did.
As the door shut, I wondered what was to happen now. I wasn’t exactly sure of Justin’s reaction, I wasn’t sure of what he would do. I wasn’t sure of anything, except that I was now determined more then ever to find out what was going on with JC and to find out how to help him get through it.