Lustful Memoirs
By: Gina - gina@basic-nstynct.com
Chapter Sixty OneJen slid her key into the slot, the buzzer sounding as the door unlocked. We entered the suite, greeted by the sounds of a basketball game. Ecstatic cries of victory assured, depressed moans of loss as money exchanging hands echoed off the walls. Three men surrounded the television, the last seconds of the game ticking away. I followed Jen further into the room, only to gently bump her when she stopped suddenly. Muttering an apology I stepped to her right, glancing at the site before us. Lance lay across one of the loveseats, his eyes drooped, his one arm resting on his stomach, the other dangling off the edge of the sofa, his fingers scraping the floor. Joey and Chris occupied another couch, their eyes wide, and their mouths tense, their heads never moving from the visions on the television. The final buzzer sounded indicating the end of the game and as if an alarm clock had gone off, the three men woke from their game induced comas.
All six eyes turned to Jen and I. I shifted, slightly uncomfortable. I held their stares but didn’t mutter a word. I wondered where Justin was, why he was not enjoying the game. I had learned over time that he was a fanatical basketball fan. The fact that he had not been sitting enjoying it with his friends sent a bolt of panic through me. I needed to know that instant where he was. I opened my mouth to ask the question when my exact thoughts fell from Jen’s lips.
"So, where’s Justin?" She asked, her forehead furrowed indicating that she was just as curious as to his whereabouts as I was.
"He’s sitting out on the balcony," Chris was quick to reply, "he’s in one of his moods, but I think you have found the solution to his problem."
Chris said the words to Jen as his head nodded in my direction. It was comforting. It was security. It was approval.
"Go talk to him." Lance’s eyes met mine as he uttered the words. "It’s not often that I admit this, but Chris is right. You are the only solution to what is bothering him. Well, let me say, you are the only possible solution. The other part of his problem left last night and hasn’t been back since. But with you here, I don’t think that will matter much. What are you waiting for? Go talk to him."
Lance smiled, his eyes wide, as he pointed to the door. I lowered my head glancing at the floor, then back at him, returning his grin. I walked across the plush carpet, a bit self-conscious as all eyes followed my movements, but at the same time, a certain amount of calmness claimed me.
I opened the sliding glass doors, his head rose slightly, the sound alerting him, yet he did not turn around. His gaze remained fixed on the dark sky, yet I knew that he saw nothing, his thoughts were far away from that hotel balcony and far away from the sky before him.
I lowered myself into the chair next to him, letting my hand rest gently on his arm. He turned then, our eyes meeting. Shock painted his features. I was the last person he expected to see. He said not a word, raising from his seat to stand in front of me. He took both of my hands in his, entwining our fingers as he pulled me to him. He captured me in his embrace, his breath fanning across my neck as his head burrowed into my shoulder. He released me, only enough to put a small distance between us, so that our eyes could meet.
"Blake, darlin’, what are you doing here?" The slight southern accent, that seeped into his voice when his guard was down, laced his words.
I broke our stare, my eyes coming to rest on the top of his bare feet.
"I couldn’t do it Justin. I tried, I went, and I tried, but I couldn’t." My words were broken, the sobs pushing past my reserve to stop them, the final words were barely intelligible.
He pulled me back toward him, his hand coming to smooth my hair, the other caressing my back. My tears fell, landing on the soft cotton of his shirt, the material dampening.
"Baby, shhh," he whispered, the soft breeze surrounding us carrying the words into the night. "Everything’s okay now. We are together, everything is more than okay now."
His words wrapped around me, his arms held me tight, and my sobs subsided. I pulled away slightly, putting just the slightest bit of distance between us. My eyes met his, the wetness clinging to the corner of his eye. My hand reached up between us, to wipe it away. My fingers lingered on his cheek.
"Why are you crying?"
"Blake, I love you. I couldn’t be any happier then I am at this moment. I was sitting out here thinking about you, thinking about holding you, kissing you, making love to you, and then my thoughts turned, my brain denied me the image I longed for, reminding me of where you were and what you were doing. The thought of another man touching you, I wanted to find you, rip you out of his arms, shake you until you listened to me, demand that you leave with me. I had made up my mind, I was going to do it. I was just about to stand up when the door opened. I groaned to think that one of my friends was coming out here on yet another pathetic mission to cheer me up. Then I felt your fingers on my arm, and I couldn’t breath, couldn’t believe that everything that I had hoped for tonight had come true..."
I placed my finger over his lips, ceasing his words. I stared into the dark blue orbs of his eyes.
"I love you." I whispered.
They were the only three words in the vast English language that had any meaning. He kissed me then, our feelings for each other burning between us. The kiss was soft, unhurried, for there was no reason to rush. I was now his, completely, utterly, without a doubt. The world that surrounded us was held at bay, us the only people in existence, the only life breathing. With one searing tender kiss we were complete, with nothing in our futures to prevent us from being together.
We parted then, our fingers still entwined. I shivered, the temperature of the air dropping drastically.
"Let’s go inside, you’re cold."
Continuing to hold my hand, he led me toward the doors. It was a short walk and I followed him. As we entered the warmth surrounded me but it paled in comparison to the warmth that surrounded my heart, the warmth of his love that burned within me. All eyes turned to meet us, and he smiled at his friends.
"What the hell are you all looking at?" He asked the question, a playful anger in his voice.
I watched Chris stand, his eyebrows furrow.
"Damn," Chris exclaimed, "what the hell did you do to him out there on that balcony."
"Chris, shut it. You have no manners." Justin attempted to keep his friend quiet. He squeezed my hand telling me what I already knew. Chris was joking.
"Timberlake, damn you, you’ve known me for how long? Can I say DUH?"
The room erupted in fits of giggles, Chris as always the center of comedy.
As the laughter subsided, Jen rose from her seat next to Lance, grabbing his hand she pulled him into a standing position.
"Okay, guys," she looked around the room at Chris and then at Joey, "get the hell out of Justin’s room He would like time with his girl and I would like time with my man. You two go to bed."
"That’s not fair," Chris stated and I could have sworn he stomped his feet. "Joey’s got Kelly waiting for him. You and Lance have each other, Justin is going to be with Blake, and I’ve got nothing. Tell me how that’s fair."
"It’s fair because it’s your own damn fault old man, for the first time, you’ve gotten burned by your own game. It serves you right." Justin finished his statement matter of factly.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, the youngster thinks he knows a thing or two. Well, I’ll have you know, that you know nothing, you see, it was all apart of my master plan. Even JC being an asshole at dinner and ruining the evening, all part of the master plan, to ditch the bimbo named Melanie, so that I could move on to bigger and better things. And I do mean bigger, Dani has a rack on her that would put Pamela Anderson Lee, pre implant removal, to shame."
All persons in the room, save Chris who stood laughing at his own joke, shook their heads in a knowing way. This was Chris, many couldn’t understand him, many went crazy trying, but all loved him.
Jen once again muttered a "let’s go," and they all formed a single file line that would have made every kindergarten teacher jealous, and they left.
"Chris is a riot." I stated the obvious, trying to fill the silence that permeated the room.
"You’re telling me." Justin replied in turn, a chuckle escaping his lips as he thought back over Chris’ words.
He lowered himself on the bed, his fingers coming to rest on his eyes as he attempted to rub away the exhaustion that I could see etched on his features. I approached him.
"Take that shirt off and roll over."
He winked at me, a flirtatious grin holding fast to his lips.
"Now." I accentuated my word.
"Anxious aren’t you?"
I glared at him, he winked at me again, before doing as I asked, rolling on his stomach so that the length of his back was now facing me. I placed my hands on his neck, closing my hands tight over the column of muscles. I kneaded them until the tension left. I worked my way down his back repeating the motions, caressing his skin. I watched as his body rose and fell with breath. The rhythmic pattern indicating his sleep. I lightly ran my nails across his exposed skin, before rising from the bed. I walked toward the door and I heard him stir.
"Where are you going?" Panic gripped his words.
"Just to turn off the light, sweetie."
I did as I said, throwing the room into darkness, the moon outside the windows casting eerie shadows along the walls and floor. I approached the bed, stripping off the dress I had worn, thankful for the body slip I had chosen to wear that morning. I slipped underneath the covers, scooting my body closer to him. Instinctively he wrapped an arm around me, aligning the front of his body with the back of mine. I fit against him snuggly, my head coming to rest on his outstretched arm. His other arm securely fastened around my waist. I was surrounded by him, by his body, by his scent, by his love. Content and free, I drifted off to sleep.
I awoke, the sunlight billowing through the room. I stretched languidly, sensing that he was not next to me. I glanced around, my mouth breaking into a smile as my eyes found him. He was sitting on the chair next to the windows watching me.
"Good morning," I whispered my voice dripping with sleep.
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
"Like a baby," I replied, noticing for the first time that he was already showered, already dressed.
"Are you going somewhere?" I asked the question, my heart racing, hoping that the answer would be no, though I could see in his eyes, and in the way his mouth was pulled into that famous Timberlake grin that he was in character, prepared for his day ahead.
"I have an autograph signing, a radio interview and a photo shoot to do today." His last words came hushed, before he uttered, "I’m sorry."
"Sorry. Please. You don’t have to be sorry, this is your job, I understand. Don’t ever be sorry for doing what you love."
He interrupted then, "I love to sing, Blake and I love to create. Autograph signings, photo shoots, interviews, those things I hate."
"It’s part of the job, honey."
"Don’t I know it. Doesn’t mean I have to like it." He said, his tone indignant.
I smiled.
"What time do you have to leave?"
"Ten minutes ago."
"Justin," my voice rose, "get out of here, JC is going to be pissed at you."
"He lives his life pissed at me these days, ten minutes won’t hurt a thing."
I shook my head.
"Get out."
"You’re kicking me out."
"You’re damn right I am. I will not have your friends thinking that I’m a bad influence, spending the night here with you and making you late the next day. Now, go. I’ll meet you back here later."
"You will?" The façade faded. In its wake the unsure little boy stood, his weight shifting from one foot to the other, his eyes cast down as he peered at me through his long lashes, his teeth held his lip captive as he awaited my answer, his face full of doubt and of hope.
"Of course, I will Justin." I smiled at him, reassuring him. "There’s only one place I want to be, and that’s with you. So what time will you be back? I’ll meet you here then."
"At six." His doubt faded, happiness clinging to his facial features.
"Okay, and, Justin."
"Yeah." He turned to face me.
"Smile, make the girls happy. They love you almost as much as I do."
He smiled then, the blush rising to his cheeks, his head lowering again, the shield of his lashes hiding his eyes.
"I love you too." He breathed and then he was gone.
His words lingered in the room after he left. My body tingled as I remained in the bed, the covers twisted around my body. I could feel every nerve impulse fire, I could feel every beat of my heart. I could feel the oxygen infuse through every cell. I was alive and happy. Giddy. Sickeningly giddy.
I rose from the bed, finding my clothes from the night before folded neatly on a chair. I dressed quickly. Plans were forming in my head. I wanted to make the coming night special, our first night of truly being together. I knew exactly what I wanted to do for him. I glanced at the clock, there wasn’t much time. I called the front desk requesting my car. Many things needed to be done. I hurriedly exited the hotel, the valet waiting. I hurriedly took my place behind the steering wheel. I gunned the engine and raced home.
I turned into my driveway, the smile that resided on my face the entire ride gone. Four cars sat, 2 rows, 2 cars per row, in front of my garage. I only recognized one of them. The forest green sedan, the license plate signifying her husband’s position in the state government. I had known since I drove out of the hotel driveway the night before that I would have to face her, that I would have to deal with the consequences of my actions. I hadn’t expected it to be so soon or so forced. I turned the car off with a deep breath, reminding myself that nothing she could say would have an impact. I no longer needed her job, I no longer needed the money.