A Treasure Worth Seeking
By: Shellie - shelliemg at gmail.com
Chapter 5JC leaned back in the chaise, one arm propped behind his head, the other toying with an empty glass on the wooden floor at his side. The glass made soft ringing noises as he lifted it onto its edge and let go, letting it roll until it stilled, the bottom flat on the floor once again. He repeated the movement again and again as his mind wandered.
The days were passing by in a blur and he was making no progress. In fact, until last night he had managed to go several days without thinking about it at all. Which had, in fact, been a welcome respite, regardless of the fact that his decision was still unmade and his timeline was getting shorter and shorter. How was he supposed to do this? How could he decide whether or not the group should continue? NSync or no? He already knew the answer. Why did it matter what he said? Justin wanted out. Chris wanted out. Lance and Joey could go either way. What was the point of even arguing? The record sales were slipping, the number one’s had turned to top 40’s. The concerts had long since stopped selling out. They were at the point of running this thing into the ground and frankly, he didn’t see where they had left to go. Each record had to be "new" and "fresh" and "inventive" but this time…there nothing left for them to do.
He already knew the answer. It whispered through his mind mockingly, but to accept it, to ‘decide’ led to other choices. Questions about his future and what he would do with it. Questions that he didn’t know the answers to yet. The truth was right there, staring him in the face. Who are you without NSync?
*******
Next door, something moved. Sitting up to see if maybe it was Lauren, JC squinted into the night. The figure that stepped through the screen door was much smaller, her light hair glowing faintly in the moonlight. She moved across the porch, her two-year-old gait wobbly and unsure as she drug something behind her. What in the hell was Caroline doing outside? He blinked at his watch. It was well after 2 AM. He stood, watching as the screen door dropped closed behind her, wincing while waiting for it to slam. It didn’t. Instead it caught the corner of the blanket Caroline was dragging, bringing the girl to an abrupt halt. He smiled at her frustrated expression as she turned and tried to ease it loose. Tugging harder and harder until the blanket slipped free, she went sailing headfirst off the edge of the porch and into the sand.
JC gasped is surprise before barreling over the railing of his own porch and running barefoot through the sand the short distance to where the child lay, her lungs expanding as she let out her first wail of distress.
"Caroline!" He dropped to his knees beside her, yanking the blanket to the side and checking her for injuries. Other than having the wind knocked out of her and a face full of sand, she appeared to be okay. As she continued to scream, JC scooped her up and hurried into his neighbor’s kitchen. Sitting Caroline on the counter by the sink, he yelled for Lauren.
The child yelled as well, the continuous cries of "Mommy!" making his heart break over and over. He leaned her over the sink and began to brush away the sand clinging to her skin.
"Easy, honey. Let’s get this sand out of your mouth here." He brushed and probed, slipping his finger into her mouth to scrape out as much sand as he could around her screams. He knew there was sand in her eyes and in her nose. As Lauren came running into the kitchen he continued to wipe sand from between her bottom lip and gums.
"What’s going on?" she asked frantically, still a bit confused from being woken so suddenly from her sleep. She rushed to where JC was now attempting to clean the child’s eyes. Her tears where helping, but he was afraid he wasn’t getting it all.
"She fell off the porch. Help me, she has sand in her eyes."
Together they cleaned the frightened child; JC holding her as Lauren got rid of as much sand as she could. Once they were relatively certain her eyes were clean Lauren decided she should give Caroline a quick bath.
As the tub filled, Caroline clung to JC’s shirt, watching her mother with large tear swollen eyes. "Honey, what were you doing on the porch?" Lauren asked peering up from the tub’s edge where she sat testing the waters temperature.
Caroline looked away hiding her face in the cotton of JC’s tee shirt. "O-outside."
"Yes, I know you were going outside but, honey, you know you aren’t allowed to go outside without mommy." She gave JC a bewildered look. "She’s never gotten out of her crib before. I can’t believe it."
"Well, it was just a lesson learned. No serious harm done. Just a little sand in uncomfortable places."
Lauren reached for her little one, prying tiny fisted hands off of his shirt. Sitting her down into the warm water, she caressed her child’s head lovingly. "I know, but what if she’d gone out the front door? The street is just right there."
JC dropped to sit on the closed lid of the commode, reaching to brush Lauren’s knee softly. "But she didn’t, and I was outside and everything is fine. Tomorrow you’ll get better locks on the doors and she won’t be able to get out. Besides, if it was that easy for her to get out, then it’s way too easy for someone to get in. You need the locks anyway."
"Thank God you were out there, Josh. What were you doing?"
He snorted, "Feeling sorry for myself. I’m having that insomnia thing again. I’m a zombie all day, wide-awake all night."
"I’m sorry you aren’t sleeping, but then again…tonight I’m glad. Thank you for rushing to her rescue." She rested her hand on top of his were it still sat on her bare knee. They both sat quietly, her gaze alternating between her baby and JC, him staring diligently at their touching hands.
Smiling ruefully, he pulled his hand away, dropping to his knees beside the tub and reaching in to scoop a hand full of water, dribbling it over the child’s head. "How are you, Princess?" She blushed becomingly, watching him as her jaw worked around the index finger she had planted in her mouth. "I suppose you won’t be going on any midnight jaunts for a few days, huh?"
The little girl shook her head no, taking her finger from her mouth and reaching to touch his face, her hand flattening on his cheek. "C," she said softly.
He turned to kiss her wet palm lightly with his lips. "Sweet Caroline."
*******
JC watched from the doorway with concerned eyes as Lauren stood over Caroline’s crib, her hand patting the girl softly on the back. She turned looking at JC with large tear filled eyes and JC knew that mommy was about to lose it.
"Come on, you’re gonna wake her up," he whispered, stepping in to take Lauren’s hand and lead her down the hallway to the sofa. He left her sitting, trembling on the couch. Pouring her a cup of coffee that he’d made while she was preparing Caroline for bed for the second time, he returned, opting to sit the mug on the table in front of her once he noticed had badly she was shaking.
"Lauren…" he reached for her hands holding them in his own. "She’s fine."
She turned to look up at him, tears she’d been holding back for nearly an hour finally bursting free to stream down her face. "She could have been killed. JC…if she’d gone out the front door…the street…or the water…"
"She’s fine." He pulled her to him, rocking her gently as he pressed his hand against her hair. "All the what if’s don’t matter, honey. I was there and she’s just fine."
"I know but…" Her body began to shake as sobs racked her. Not knowing what else to do, he held her tight, whispering soothing words into her hair as she cried.
It was a long, long time before she settled down, drooping against him heavily. Weary she sat up. "I’m sorry for weeping all over you."
"Like I care if you cry on me. I’m not going to melt. Are you okay?"
"Yes. It was just overwhelming. Getting out of her crib is a big deal in itself, much less leaving the house. Doing it at 3 in the morning…" She laughed sardonically, "Now my head hurts like a bitch."
He pushed her off of his shoulder gently, standing and taking the now cold coffee to pour down the sink. He returned with a fresh cup. "Here’s some coffee. Do you have any headache medicine?"
"I do. I actually think I’m going to take my coffee and my headache pills into a quick hot shower. Would you mind if I disappeared for a few minutes before you go?"
"Not at all. Take as long as you like."
The shower felt glorious and Lauren found herself staying in a little longer than she intended. But the hot water helped massage away a bit of her headache, and the ibuprofen did the rest. The bathroom was filled with steam when she emerged a half-hour later, wrapped in a thick terry cloth robe.
She headed down the hallway, the house now dark except for a small lamp sitting on the end table nearest her. The lamp was on its lowest setting casting a dim yellow glow around the room. She leaned over the back of the sofa, finding JC laying on his side, his breathing heavy and slow. His lashes dark, casting long shadows down his face in the lamp’s golden glow.
"So beautiful," she whispered, reaching to trail her fingers along his high cheekbones, his prominent chin, his full, soft lips. Sighing, she pulled away from him. After refilling her coffee, she circled the sofa, climbing onto the end of the love seat nearest JC. She stared at him, wishing her life was different, and his. Wishing whatever it was that was haunting him, keeping him awake at night would go away. Wishing she didn’t have bad luck with marriage. Just wishing…
Knowing she wasn’t going to be getting any sleep, Lauren reached for her laptop sitting on the coffee tables edge. Flipping it open she began to write.