A Treasure Worth Seeking
By: Shellie - shelliemg at gmail.com
Chapter 14JC swiped his hands nervously against his thighs as he stood outside the conference room door. This is ridiculous. You’ve known these guys for half of your life. Don’t be an ass. He reached for the knob pulling it open just as something came flying toward his face. Ducking, he watched as a muffin sailed past, hitting the wall behind him before falling to the floor with a thump. He stood, wide eyed as peels of laughter filled the room. Ironically, he felt better.
"JC! Man! If I’d known you were coming I would have waited another second so I could hit you square!"
He made a face at Chris, dropping down into the chair closest to where he was. "Glad to see some things never change."
The other four were already there, sprawled in various places around the table. Joey was half-asleep, his legs propped on the chair next to his. Justin was staring at his cell phone, watching it ring and willing it to stop. Lance was eating a muffin and pouring sugar into his coffee, one package after another. It was like he’d never left.
Lance looked up with a warm smile, "Hey buddy."
JC nodded, reaching for the tray of coffee sitting in the middle of the table.
Justin finally answered his phone. "What? Okay, good. I told you not to call me right now. I’ll call you later. Bye." He hung up and turned the power off on his phone. "Jesus Christ. She drives me fucking insane."
"Brit?" JC asked sipping his coffee and noting how it wasn’t nearly as good as Lauren’s.
"No. My mother. What a pain in my ass. She knows I’m in town, but I haven’t been to see her yet. She doesn’t care that we got in at 11:30 last night. She thinks we should have stopped by on the way home from the airport. Um…no."
JC chuckled and glanced down the table where Joe was now awake and watching him with a sly grin. "What?"
"So, how’s Lauren?"
JC smiled, "She’s great."
"How great?"
"The best."
Joey’s smiled broadened. "Good. Glad to hear it. And Carrie?"
JC made a pained expression, "Oh, she’s breaking my heart."
"I can imagine."
"How’s Bri?" JC returned.
Joe’s grin turned sweet. "She’s the most amazing creature I’ve ever seen. JC, you gotta come see her after this. She’s gotten so big."
"And Ami?" Joey nodded and winked and JC noticed the others were watching them with interest. "What?"
"Nothing. We just find this conversation interesting. Who are Lauren and Carrie and how does Joey know them?"
"He and Ami came to visit. Lauren and Carrie are my neighbors. Both nice girls."
Chris’ face brightened, "You have two chicks living next door? How killer. Are they lesbians? Did they let you watch?"
JC stared at him, amazement covering his face. "Did those words really just leave your mouth?"
"What? I’m just imagining the best possible scenario. You seem happy enough and I know that would make me happy." Chris grinned.
"Caroline is 2 years old. Lauren is her mother."
"Well, shit. And here I had high hopes for you, buddy."
JC laughed, shaking his head and leaning back against the plush leather seat. They were meeting in one of the conference rooms at WEG. They’d agreed that Johnny would not be present for this meeting and he was completely in agreement. This was not a decision he was envious of them making.
"I was thinking," Chris began, sitting up straighter in his chair, "That maybe we should each have like…a cd or something. Maybe our first ever cd and if you vote yes you lay it face up and no, would be face down."
The room was silent for several seconds. "You’ve been watching too many movies. Which one is that?"
"The Skulls," Lance answered, "the one about the secret societies. Chris. Just don’t talk any more."
"What? I’m just trying to keep things interesting."
"You’re brain damaged," Justin offered with a grin, "How old are you? Is the senility kicking in already?"
Chris kicked Justin under the table. "Shut up. So, do you like being old enough to get into bars now?"
"Fuck you."
Lance tossed the remainder of his muffin in the trash and knocked on the table with his knuckles, "Guys, guys. Come on, let’s go ahead and get started. I know none of us wants to do this but putting if off only makes it worse. We’ll just go around the table, say your decision and state your reason why. At the end we’ll give anyone who may want it the opportunity to change their mind. Then it’s done."
Chris was playing with the cd he’d plucked from his bag beneath the table. "So, who wants to go first?"
"No one wants to go first," Justin answered softly. When the cd slid the length of the table to stop in front of him he sighed, shooting Chris a glance. "Fine." He stared at the cd lying face up on the tabletop for a long moment before reaching out to flip it over. Face down. "I don’t want this to end, but, my vote is to break up." He exhaled slowly, his eyes filling with tears. "Those are the hardest words I’ve ever had to speak in my life. Everyone wants me to go solo, but me. I love you guys. I love the harmony. Sure I like to sing alone, but it’s the harmony that makes it …perfect. I can’t do that on my own. But this…it’s dying. And I’m scared that if I wait…I’m going to die with it. I don’t want to die. I don’t want any of us to. I think that each of us has something wonderful to share with the world and if we get out now, while we are still so very close to the top…the doors will still be open. But if we wait," he paused, inhaling deeply, "my vote is for us to stop recording and performing as a group. We will always be NSync. At least in my heart and mind."
No one spoke. No one moved. And then the cd, still face down, slid back to Chris. He didn’t flip it over. "I’m getting old, you guys. I know you all joke with me about it all the time and I fight back, but, dude, I’m almost thirty-three. Soon I’ll be thirty-five and then I’ll be dead. I don’t want to go out like Elvis, wearing sparkling pajamas and having my morning cereal with a shot of Jack. I want to concentrate on Fu Man and spend some time with Michelle. Maybe get married, have a baby before all my sperm dies. I’m just now getting to where I don’t ache in the morning when I wake up. I love you all and I love this. I’ve never regretted it for a second. But…my vote is for us to break up. I just can’t Digital Getdown anymore."
The cd slid down the table, past Joey’s elbow and onto the carpet beside his chair. A few of them laughed softly as he bent to pick it up, flipping it over in his hands. He didn’t set it down. "I’ll be honest, I don’t know what I want to do. I love this. I’m not like you guys with stuff on the side. You have companies and you write and produce. Sure, I’d like to act but I can do that now. The only thing I have waiting for me is my baby, and now Ami. But I do have to say that I really think that she’s the one. And if so, then if we did stay together, it wouldn’t be for years and years to come. I want to be around when my baby goes to school for the first day. I want to see these things. I missed her first words, I missed her first steps and those are things I can never see. I regret that. I regret that because of this. So if this were different, then I’d vote yes, but as it is right now…" he placed the cd face down on the table top in front of him and then, gently shoved it to Lance.
Lance slid the cd to JC. "I love you all. I never want to live my life without all of you in it. But I agree with Justin. We get out now. I’m sorry. My vote is no."
JC stared at the cd. The decision was already made. They’d stated months ago that the decision to stay together had to be unanimous because a group of 5 with one person there that didn’t want to be…it would kill them as surely as if they tried to go on with someone missing completely, but he still thought that he had to say what he felt.
He flipped the cd case over, setting it face up out in front of him. Closing his eyes, he remained silent for a moment, then he leaned back into his chair and met each of their eyes in turn. "I know that what I have to say is pointless now. The decision has been made, but I have to say how I feel." His eyes dropped to his lap, where his fingers knotted together painfully. "I want us to stay together. Not forever, but just longer than this." He sighed and stood, circling the chair to stare at the platinum record that hung on the wall behind it. Johnny had several conference rooms, all of which were covered with memorabilia from the groups he successfully managed. This room was the largest and all four walls held gold, silver and platinum records and videos earned by *NSync. "I know it’s dying and that what we do, the style we use, can’t go on forever." Reverently he touched the glass, tracing the edge of the shining cd beneath it. "But I think there is still time, even if just a little, for us to do something special."
He turned back toward them, bracing his arms on the high back of the chair in which he’d been sitting. "For a long time I wasn’t sure. No," he shook his head, staring at his hands again, "that’s not true. For a long time I just refused to think about it. I pretended like everything was fine for as long as possible. But eventually the day came when I had to make up my mind. I talked it over with someone I’ve grown very close to over the past few months. She didn’t have an answer for me, but she listened, ya know?" He looked at Joey who smiled a soft, sad smile. "And then out of the blue the other day she said something to me that really hit me hard." He pushed away from the chair, beginning to pace slowly in front of the door. "The reason why we think we are going to fail is because with each album we keep getting "better". But guys, we’ve already been at the top. You can’t get any bigger than we’ve been." He gestured around the room. "You don’t get better, you last longer. The people who beat us at award shows, the people that get the reviews that we’ve always wanted…they don’t get better with every cd. They don’t reinvent themselves and their music every other year. They do what they are good at. Over and over and over again, they do what they do best, and because of that they last. We’ve been killing ourselves and true, we’ve been making money, but all we’ve done is prove how fickle we are. We stand for this today but next month… next month we stand for something totally different. It’s a performance. An act. It has nothing to do with who we really are. We’re always finding something new, something different than the album before. Luckily we’ve never managed to get completely away from the root of who we are." He looked at Justin, "Harmony. You said it yourself. It’s in our hearts, in our souls. It’s who we are and we know it, so we keep doing it. Why don’t we just take a step back and just…do what it is we do best. A whole album full of it. What a novel idea, huh?" He turned to Chris, "All the songs that we’ve written that just get set aside? What about those?" He glanced at Justin, "You know the two of us have come up with some good stuff. I’m not saying the cd should be all ballads, but…just us. Just once, before I’m a nothing, I’d like to say, this is really who I am, not who I want you to think I am. And if you don’t like it, fine, but it’s there and it’s real. My vote is yes, let’s stay together, just long enough to show those fuckers that we made us into this…this thing that we really are. Then I’ll feel like I can walk away with my head held high." He sighed. "I’m not going to change my mind. I think by ending it now, we’re making a mistake." He turned then, silently he opened the door and left the room.
***
"I missed you while I was gone." JC pulled Lauren tighter against him, slipping one lean hand in between the folds of her terry robe.
"Did you?" She buried her face in his neck and inhaled, enjoying the scent of him.
"Yes. Especially since all Joey talked about the entire time was Ami, Brianna, you and Caroline."
"Did you see Brianna?" she asked, reaching up to touch the tips of his hair softly, not quite sure if he was really there, afraid that she’d wake to find it all a dream.
"Yeah. After our disastrous little meeting I spent the rest of the day over there. After awhile I just had to get away so I got in my car to go to my house and just kept driving. Here I am."
"Well, I’m sorry your meeting was so bad." She kissed him gently, "but I must admit, I’m glad you are back."
"Are you?"
"You have no idea, but were you really going to sleep out here on my couch?" she pouted.
He rolled, trapping her body between his and the back of the sofa. "I didn’t want to, but I didn’t want to disturb you either."
She climbed over him, teasing him with flashes of skin as she untangled her limbs from his. Standing over him she reached for his hand, tugging him to his feet. "Come to bed, sweetheart."
He sighed dramatically. "If you insist."
"I do. Come crawl in my bed and tell me what happened at this ‘disastrous’ meeting."
"Ugh. I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it just yet."
"That’s fine. We can talk about something else." She pulled him around the end of the sofa and down the hall. "The weather?"
"Yeah." Gripping her belt he jerked her back against him. "Let’s talk about the weather."
She smiled, loving the feel of his lips against her neck, "Mmmmm, fine, the weather it is."
"Can we talk about the weather… naked?"
Just inside her bedroom door she stopped and turned, letting him move forward until their chests touched. Easing her fingers up his body, she began to pluck at the top button of his shirt. "Hmmm. I suppose we can do that. And here I was thinking you missed my charming personality…" The button fell free.
Pulling her close he growled, "Oh don’t even." He buried his face in her neck and held her tight against him, rocking back and forth slowly. "It just sucked, Laur. I mean I knew what was going to happen, but to actually hear the words…"
She reached up, brushing his hair from his eyes, "Baby, you don’t have to tell me now if you don’t want to."
Slowly he unfastened the belt at her waist and pushed the robe off her shoulders. "All I want to do right now is make love to you. I just want to be inside of you… where all I can think about is how wonderful you feel and how soft you are." He nibbled lightly at her throat, "…how sweet you smell and taste."
His shirt fell open and her hands continued down to the fly of his jeans, "Oh, I think that can be arranged."
"I can beg if I need to."
"I really don’t think begging will be necessary."
She pushed his jeans down over his hips and he stepped out of them. "You’re too good to me, Lauren."
"Yes…I know."
***
"Baby alert."
JC rolled onto his back with a smile just as Lauren sat Carrie onto the bed beside him. "Good morning, sweetie."
"Good morning, C." Leaning forward, she patted his hair. "You messy," she giggled.
"Yeah, well, ask your mother how it got that way."
"Joshua!" Lauren swatted him with the back of her hand.
He chuckled softly, "Uh oh. I think I’m in trouble now. Hey sweetie, guess what I got?"
"What?" Carrie asked curiously.
"A surprise!"
"For me?" The child exclaimed.
"Yep."
Excited, she looked around the room with wide eyes, "where is it?"
"Go into the living room and look for my bag. It’s beside the back door. You can bring it back in here."
Lauren grabbed her daughter before she dove headfirst off the bed, anxious to find what JC had brought her. She sat the child on the floor and watched from the bedroom doorway as Carrie toddled down the length of the hall. As the child spotted her gift she let out a delighted squeal and began to run, crashing headfirst into the large stuffed bear.
It seemed to be quite a struggle for the girl to get a hold of the bear and when Lauren finally saw it, she knew why. She looked at JC where he lay on his side watching her. "Josh, it’s as big as she is!"
He laughed and nodded, rolling onto his back and pushing up into a sitting position. "Joey sent it. Hand me my boxers before she gets back, please."
She tossed him his shorts and grinned as he attempted to dress beneath the covers before her daughter reappeared. He had plenty of time as Caroline had quite a struggle to reach them dragging the enormous bear.
"Look! Look mommy!!"
"I see it!"
"It’s really, really big mommy!"
"It sure is." Lauren bent down beside her daughter and rubbed the bears silky head, "Mr. Joey sent that to you. Do you remember Mr. Joey?"
"Uh huh. Where is he?" Carrie glanced around the room once more.
"He’s not here, but he asked Josh to bring that to you as a surprise."
She turned wrapping her arms around the bear’s thick neck. "I love him."
Lauren laughed, winking at JC where he now sat lounging against the head of the bed, "I think she likes it, dear."
JC sighed, "That Fatone…he always knows the way to a woman’s heart."
***
Joey Fatone was smiling when he pulled in behind his friend’s truck and stopped. Wondering for a moment how JC would react to what was about to happen. He was still in the driver’s seat when Chris tapped on this window from the outside.
"Stop grinning and come on."
Joey climbed from the vehicle and stretched before walking around to where the others waited impatiently. He checked his watch and smirked, turning to head between JC’s house and the one next door.
"Where the hell are you going, man?" Justin asked, gesturing toward the front door of JC’s place with an annoyed look. "He lives here."
Joey rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Fine."
He followed Justin, Lance and Chris up onto the porch while Justin knocked and waited. After several seconds, Justin knocked again. Perplexed, he looked over his shoulder at the others.
Finally Joey spoke. "Are you finished?" They all three turned to Joey. "Cause it’s dinner time and he’s not in there."
Justin shot him a glance and flipped his hand at Joey who turned and stepped back off the porch. He led them between the two homes and around to Lauren’s back porch. They approached quietly and paused, all of them – except Joe – surprised by the scene playing out before them.
JC was sitting with his back toward them at the small kitchen table. He was dressed casually in faded jeans and an old denim shirt, his sleeves cuffed at his elbows. He leaned forward, one foot balanced on the bottom rung of his chair as he fed macaroni and cheese to a golden haired angel. Across the table a dark haired young woman watched, her blue eyes twinkling as JC interacted with the child.
The child spoke animatedly and JC laughed, reaching for his napkin and using it to wipe the little girl’s face. It was the picture of domesticity and none of them felt comfortable disturbing it. Instead they stood and watched.
Lauren noticed them first, her eyes widening with surprise, then recognition, and finally something more complex…a mixture of happiness and regret. Noticing her odd expression, JC turned, glancing over his shoulder as he questioned her, "Lauren?" He stared in stunned silence for several moments before standing. "Hey." Slowly he stepped toward them, pushing the screen door open and watching the group of them with suspicious eyes as they stood quietly, none of them quite sure how to begin.
Caroline came to the rescue, twisting in her chair and recognizing Joey, she let out an excited squeal. "Joey!"
Everyone laughed, the tension finally broken and Joey stepped forward, hugging JC quickly before stepping past him to greet Caroline with a huge smile.
Justin stepped forward from the shadows, hesitantly reaching his hand toward JC as he licked his lips. "Hey, man."
JC rolled his eyes and ignoring Justin’s outstretched hand, stepped forward and hugged his long time friend. "Don’t be stupid. What are you guys doing here?" He greeted Chris and Lance with warm hugs as well.
"So, these are the lesbian neighbors?" Chris exclaimed as reality finally hit home.
The four of them burst into laughter just as Lauren stepped out onto the porch behind JC. "Did I miss something?"
The laughter continued and JC shook his head, dropping his arm around Lauren’s shoulders. "No. I’ll explain it to you later. Lauren, this is the rest of the gang. Justin, Lance and Chris. Guys, this is Lauren and that," he gestured to the elf in Joey’s arms, "is her daughter, Caroline."
Politely Lauren invited their new guests inside.
"We didn’t mean to interrupt your meal, we just came to talk to JC for a little while."
JC looked from his friends to Lauren. "Should we go next door?" he asked Joey who nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, probably. We don’t want to invade Lauren’s house any more than we already have."
JC turned to Lauren with an apologetic expression as the others moved back out onto the porch to play with Caroline, still clinging to Joey’s neck and telling him with great excitement about the antics of her most beloved ‘Mr. Joey’s Bear’.
"I’m sorry for running out on you like this. Can I get a rain check on that movie?" He ran his palms down her arms, cupping her elbows with a soft smile.
She returned his grin, loving and envying the look of excitement she saw in his eyes, "Of course, Josh. I’m not going anywhere and this is obviously important. I mean they drove all this way." She lowered her voice and whispered, "what do you think is going on?"
He shook his head, "I have no idea, but I’ll sneak over and let you know as soon as I find out." Bending slightly, he brushed his lips against hers gently. "I’m sorry."
"Oh stop and go see your friends."
He grinned and followed them onto the porch, retrieving Carrie and – with a kiss – returned her to her mother. With calls of ‘nice to meet you’ and ‘I’ll see you later’, they disappeared into the darkness beyond the porch.
When she could no long see the paleness of JC’s shirt glowing in the night, Lauren carried Caroline through the house toward the bathroom, swallowing against the dread that filled her stomach like lead. "Come on sweetie, let’s get you in the bath."
***
Hours later, long after Carrie had fallen asleep, Lauren sat in a chair in the corner of her living room idly picking at the keys on her computer. The dishes had been washed and put away, she’d flipped though the channels on the TV and she’d even considered watching the movie they’d rented without him. None of it had held her interest. She’d been stupid to think she’d be able to concentrate on her writing, not when something big was going down next door, something that was going to severely affect the life she’d begun to fantasize about in the week since Josh had been back. It had been a stupid fantasy, she’d known it all along, but it had refused to leave. Now, over and over again in her mind she watched it crumble.
A soft tap, tap, tap preceded Josh into the room and she looked up, unable to stop the slow smile that always came when he appeared. It made the sorrow on her face disappear like the sun did the nighttime each morning as it crept over the horizon. He crossed the dimly lit room on bare feet; the fingers that had obviously riddled his wavy hair frequently in the past few hours were tucked into the back pockets of his jeans. "Hey you."
She sat her laptop on the table at her side as he stepped closer. Reaching a hand in his direction she questioned, "well?"
He dropped onto his knees in front of her, pressing his abdomen between her legs as he leaned forward, the fingers of each hand spread wide on her denim-clad thighs. He pressed their tips into her muscles as he pushed them up her legs and around her hips. Bending, he dropped his forehead onto her chest and sighed. Her fingers slid into his hair on either side, caressing him, massaging his scalp as she waited for his answer. His head rolled to the side, "They’re gonna do it. One more album."
She gripped his head and lifted it to stare into his tired, tear filled eyes, "Oh, Josh…Baby, that’s wonderful."
He smiled, leaning to press a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. "And they are going to do it your way, just how you said we should."
"That’s your way. And it’s going to be beautiful."
"I wish I was as confident about it as you are."
"I think everything you do is beautiful, Josh."
His lips curved slowly before opening over hers, his tongue tracing her bottom lip slowly from corner to corner before slipping inside to dance with hers. Sliding his hands up her back, he pulled her body closer to his as he deepened the kiss. His tongue moved sensuously against hers, loving her in the simplest but most intimate of ways. Reluctantly he drew back, dropping several kisses upon her swollen lips. "They are all planning to stay here for a bit to kind of figure out what we’re gonna do. Spend some time going through the material we already have. Everyone is so excited and we’ve got so much to do and all I could think about the entire time was, ‘Damn, I guess this means I have to sleep alone at my house tonight.’"
Lauren smiled, brushing a lock of wavy hair from his forehead. "You don't have to sleep in your bed."
He groaned, "Hell, they are buzzing like bees over at the house. It's going to be hours yet before I get to bed and it's already midnight."
"You look tired already."
"I am. They have absolutely no consideration for the fact that I was up until the wee hours making love." One side of his mouth curled seductively, "nor do they care that it's going to be so lonely in my bed without you."
"Well, hell," she signed, "I guess I can go to bed now."
"I'm sorry, Sweet."
"I'm just teasing. I'm so happy for you, Josh. I know how you wanted this."
"But I still don't want to sleep alone. Come on, at least let me tuck you in." He pushed himself up and reached for her hand, tugging her to her feet. Bending to flip off the lamp beside her chair, he turned, pulling her behind him through the dark but familiar house.
In her bedroom he stopped and spun, drawing her body close to his. He dropped his hands to circle her waist and she moved hers between them, brushing her fingers against the soft hair on his chest. Two buttons on his shirt had been undone since he'd left earlier and his soft tan skin made her fingers itch to touch. She freed the remaining two buttons and slid her hands between the material and his flesh, over his ribs and along his sleek back. Pressing a soft kiss at he hollow of this throat, she turned her head to lay her cheek against his warm skin.
Tucking her head beneath his chin he sighed. "You were supposed to let me tuck you in, not tempt me to stay."
She attempted to step away, "Oh sorry."
He pulled her back with a growl, his lips opening over hers possessively.
**
"You look shitty," Justin observed as JC walked back into his house a few minutes later.
"Well, because of you, I'll be sleeping alone tonight. I am shitty."
"You're sleeping with your neighbor?" Justin looked surprised.
Chris whacked Justin on the back of the head with a pillow from the couch, "Didn't you hear him? Not tonight he's not." The pair laughed and JC made a face, but couldn’t help the smile in response to Joey's knowing wink.