A Treasure Worth Seeking
By: Shellie - shelliemg at gmail.com
Chapter 20"I can’t believe I’m getting married in four days. I’ll never be ready in time. Are you sure you don’t mind me staying with you? I have so much crap with me. It’s a good thing Joey left me the key to his truck."
Lauren grinned as she watched her friend pass through the front door covered with bags. "Of course, I don’t mind you staying. Caroline and I will love the company and it would be too lonely over there at JC’s all by yourself."
Ami dropped the last of her burdens to the hall floor and turned with a smile "I agree-Oh! You look fabulous."
Lauren took a step back, "Huh?"
"You’re so tan and the hair…the hair is good."
"Oh…the highlights. I was in a mood the other day at the salon. As for the tan, it’s just me being lazy. Caroline and I have done nothing but lie around in the sun for the past two months."
"Well you look awesome. I’m not going to be the prettiest person at my wedding now. Hmpf. Joey will have second thoughts."
Lauren pulled the younger girl into a hug. "Honey, when you’re in the room, Joey sees no one else. Especially an old hag like me."
Ami laughed, leaning her head on Lauren’s shoulder with a sigh. "I love him. And you are far from a hag. But maybe JC will keep Joe away from you."
Lauren’s arms fell away and she moved past Ami and down the hall. "What in the hell does he have to do with anything?"
"Have you talked to him recently?"
"Nope. Not since I called to tell him that I moved to Savannah."
"Oh, I figured you’d call him about the cd thing."
"What cd thing?"
"He talks to you on the cd cover. In his thank yous. You and Carrie…you didn’t see it?"
"I didn’t look."
"Oh. Well…it’s there. Are you two gonna fight the whole time cause if you are pissy at my wedding I’m gonna drown you both in the ocean."
"I have no problem at all with JC. I haven’t heard from him. The end."
Ami frowned. "Well, whatever happened between you guys…you’re going to have to talk to each other eventually. Just please pretend to get along. For me."
"Honey, I told you already that I have no problem with JC. If he has a problem with me you’ll have to take that up with him."
***
C and L, I love and miss you. L, my treasure, you were right, it worked.
***
"Let’s bust open the wine."
Lauren smirked over the top of her laptop at Ami, who had been pacing the width of her living room for the past half-hour. "I thought you were saving it until Joe got here."
"We’ve got three bottles. Besides, he’s late and I’m nervous. I’m having a glass…you?"
"Sure. I’d love some. And what on earth are you nervous about?" She followed Ami into the kitchen, pulling four glasses from the rack while Ami compared bottles in front of the open refrigerator door.
"I am clueless when it comes to this stuff. We keep getting bottles of it from people that I’ve never met as congratulations on getting married. Joe keeps getting them at least. Some of it costs as much as my car."
"Well I know all about wine. Let me look." She peered over Ami’s shoulder. "Oh…nice. Let’s have this one. And you’re avoiding my question."
"I know exactly what I’m doing. Pour."
Lauren poured them both a glass and followed Ami back into the living room, where Ami chose to sit cross-legged on the floor instead of on any of the comfortable furniture. Wanting to make Ami feel more at ease, and possibly more willing to talk, Lauren joined her, crossing her legs and sitting down in front of her friend. She took a sip of wine and moaned softly. "This is good stuff. I wish my friends sent me stuff like this."
"It’s pretty good and I usually don’t like wine."
"Now…what’s up with you?"
"He’s not going to marry me."
"What? Why do you say that? Did something happen?"
"No. But, Lauren…he’s Joey. Joey Fucking Fatone, the ladies’ man. The player. He’s not going to get married. He’s been out with the guys promoting the album and living it up again. He’s going to show up here and tell me it’s off and I’m just gonna die, Laur. I am not going to be able to handle it."
"He’s not going to show up here and dump you. You’re just having pre-wedding jitters. Trust me. Joey loves you."
"But-"
"No buts. Did you talk to him last night?"
"Yes."
"And what did he say?"
"That he couldn’t wait to see me and he had never been more positive that he wanted to marry me."
"And you are having doubts because? I mean…that’s a pretty solid answer, dear."
"I know but…what if?"
"Ain’t gonna happen. He’s gonna show up here and kiss you silly and sweep you away and make love to you all night."
"Nope. He can kiss me silly but no sex until after the wedding."
"Why?"
"He’s been gone for weeks. By the time we tie the knot he’s going to be ready to explode. I’m gonna enjoy my wedding night damnit."
Lauren giggled. "You’re wicked, sister."
Ami smiled over the rim of her glass and wiggled her brows. "Yes, I know. But it will be so worth it."
Lauren refilled their glasses. "Let’s make a toast."
Ami grinned and lifted her glass. "Okay, a toast to what?"
"To stupid men…"
"…and romance novels…"
"…Joey Fatone…"
"…and Mark…JC?…or Mark?…"
"..but I already said stupid men…"
Ami giggled, "…you did…"
"…to yours and Joey’s happiness…"
"…and to the beach."
"To the beach."
Their glasses clinked together and they drank, Ami covering her mouth to keep the wine from spilling out as she began to giggle. "I think I’ve already had too much."
"You’ve only had one glass."
"I know. I’m a lightweight."
"They’ve started the party without us!" Joey’s jovial voice floated in from the open windows along Lauren’s back porch.
"You’re late so we’re making toasts."
"I had to wait on JC. You know how slow he is."
A second silhouette appeared on the stairs leading up from the beach onto the back porch. The second figure was thinner, slower. Lauren felt her heartbeat pick up immediately. She could feel him even before he spoke. "You liar. I’m always the first one ready."
Oh, that voice. The tiniest of shivers twisted down her spine as Joe pushed the door open and stepped inside.
Ami pushed up from the floor, carrying her wine with her as she slid into Joey’s open arms. "Hey baby."
"Hi sweetheart." He pressed a quick kiss to her lips before looking over to where Lauren sat. "Hi, Lauren."
"Hey, Joe." Lauren smiled up at her friend as she slid back on the hard wood floor until her back met the front of JC’s favorite chair. She took a big swallow from her glass and willed her body to relax as JC stepped inside behind Joe. His eyes were on her, deep blue and mysterious as they met hers and stayed. "Lauren."
God he was beautiful. She could deny the fact that she still wanted him until she died of old age but he was beautiful, there was no denying that. His jeans were faded and slightly baggy, crinkling at the bottom where they rested atop his leather hiking boots. His navy sweatshirt was a comfy old friend that made you want to curl into him and rest your head upon his chest. She’d never seen him in a baseball cap before but she decided immediately that it was a good thing, as was that hint of a curl that stuck out in the back. "JC." She tipped her glass slightly in his direction.
She clenched her teeth at the wave of feeling that came rushing back at the sight of him. She’d thought she’d been prepared but she’d been wrong. Nothing could prepare her for this. She wasn’t overwhelmed with the pain or the sudden urge to cry that she had expected. Instead she found herself wanting to go to him, bury her face in his neck and hang on for dear life. She took another sip of her wine and forced her eyes from his. This was going to be the longest two days of her life.
***
It had to be well after 2am, and considering the amount of wine she’d had, Lauren should have been well beyond unconscious by now. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Instead she sat motionless on the swing, the reflection of the moon on the water blurring as she stared. It was like he’d never left, his easy laughter, that lazy smile, his voice still soft and melodic. The memory killed her even now. It shouldn’t, she argued with herself, but it did.
A shift in the shadows brought her attention back to the present as she watched a lone figure step away from the house next door. He trudged slowly through the sand stopping near the waters edge. Memories of the first time she’d seen him tugged at her heart. He’d been so sad, so beautiful.
Before she realized she was even moving she’d stepped out onto the top step that led up from the beach. He turned in the darkness and although she couldn’t see his face, she could feel his eyes on her. He moved slowly in her direction. She stepped down one more stair.
He stopped when he reached the bottom, looking up at her quietly. The hat was gone and she noticed his hair was much shorter now than it had been when they’d met, just barely long enough to flip at the ends. She reached out, finding it still silky to the touch as it slid between her fingers.
He stepped up onto the bottom step and she could feel his warmth surrounding her. His hands closed around her waist, his skin burning her through the thin fabric of her nightgown. "Can I say that I’ve missed you more than life?"
"You can say whatever you like."
He pressed his face into her stomach, muffling his words. "Actions speak louder and all that, huh?"
"You’re actions said all I needed to hear. Nothing I wasn’t expecting though."
"I don’t know what you’re thinking but it couldn’t be further than the truth, I promise you."
"The truth is that you walked away and didn’t look back. It doesn’t matter why."
His arms moved around to her back as he took a step up, his feet on either side of hers as his body pressed against hers. Her fingers fisted in the front of his sweatshirt half to keep her balance…
"Josh…"
"I love it when you call me that." His breath whispered across her lips in a warm rush, "When I’m with you it’s like I’m someone else. I think I like him better." His lips parted over hers and she gasped into his mouth, clinging to him as he kissed her softly.
Her arms slid around his neck on their own as she relived the fantasy she’d pushed away every time she’d closed her eyes for the past few months. He tasted so good, like wine and sex and… "I can’t do this. I’m sorry." She braced her hands on his shoulders and stepped backwards up one stair. "You can’t just walk back into my life and pick up where you left off. I mean…you may be able to do it but I can’t. It means more to me than that and it hurts me when you leave. You’re going to leave again and I can’t take it. I’m not just here for your convenience when you happen to be in town. I… I have to go."
"Lauren…" the screen door bounced against its frame between them as she disappeared, closing and dead bolting the inner door as well. "…it’s not like that…"
Cursing, JC turned back toward the inky black ocean and resisted the urge to scream his frustrations into the night sky. He knew. Now he knew without a doubt that the thing that he’d been missing in his life…his whole life was Lauren. It had only taken one touch of his lips to hers, but with that came the knowledge that he’d probably fucked the only chance he had with her beyond repair. For ages he stood staring, salty tears burning his eyes, but he did not stand alone. Beside him, as always, stood his long time enemy: regret.
***
The next day was filled with people. Ami’s family staying with Lauren, the guys all crammed in at JC's and Joey's family in a near by resort. Mothers were offering advice, sisters were telling Ami not to listen to their mothers and around them fluttered lots and lots of nervous men.
"I can’t believe I’m getting married."
JC smiled into Joey’s worried face. "Dude, you are so gonna be the happiest man on earth. You already are."
Joe grinned, "I know. She’s perfect. But I’m getting married!"
JC just laughed, slapping his friend on the back. "Dude, you asked her. No body made you ask her."
"I know. I love her. I want to marry her. But that just isn’t the point I’m getting at here. I’m getting married. Tomorrow!"
"Want a drink?"
"Yes. A strong one."
In the kitchen JC poured Joe a shot of the only thing he could find. Straight vodka. He turned to head back to where Joe sat silently as Lance counseled him on all the things wonderful about marriage when a vision caught his eye. He handed the drink to Joe over the back of the couch and headed for the door, ignoring Joe’s calls of "What is this? JC...?"
The screen door slammed behind him as he stepped off into the warm afternoon sand. It had been a long time since he’d felt the sand seep between his toes on a breezy afternoon like this one. Seeing his approach, Lauren paused, holding Caroline’s hand.
Carrie stared up at him wide eyed. Warily she stepped behind her mother’s leg. He smiled at Lauren sweetly before squatting besides her turning his head sideways to catch Carrie’s eye. "Hey, Sweet Caroline. Are you hiding from me?" The young girl smiled, her nose pressed into the skin on the back of her mother knee. She nodded no slightly. "Are you going to come give me a hug?"
Shyly the girl took a step forward before raising her arms toward JC. He picked her up, sitting her on his hip as he rose to his full height. The child’s arms and legs wrapped around him like a vice as she buried her face in his neck. Feeling the child cling to him tore at JC’s heart and he realized even more how much he’d missed having her in his life. Never had someone loved him so unconditionally, so fiercely. She didn’t care who he was or what he did, just that he was there.
"I miss you, C," she crooned softly into his neck near his ear. "I miss you so bad."
He held her tight, rocking them back and forth as his hand moved over her silky hair repeatedly. "I missed you too, babygirl. I missed you so much."
Lauren looked away, blinking rapidly in an unsuccessful attempt to dissipate the tears that had formed in her eyes. She hated seeing her daughter cling to him, pouring out her heart when in two days he would leave them again, breaking the child’s heart again. Lauren was an adult. She’d dealt with loss before and she could do it again, but to watch her baby suffer, to know her little heart was breaking, confused as to why the man she’d grown to love disappeared for months on end, it was almost more than Lauren could bear.
He looked at Lauren, tears in his own eyes and smiled sadly. "Were you guys going for a walk?"
"Yes. We were escaping." Carrie said softly.
JC smiled. "Too many people in the house?"
Lauren nodded, "We just wanted to get out for a few minutes. Get some air."
"Mind if I join you?"
"You can come wif us."
Lauren shrugged, "I guess that answers your question." She smiled.
JC returned the gesture turning to walk beside Lauren with Carrie still in his arms. After a few minutes Carrie began to talk, trying in a single breath to catch JC up on everything he’d missed in the months that he’d been gone. Their trip to Shellie’s, her adventures with Mr. Joey’s Bear, the list went on and on. Eventually she wiggled until he put her down, walking somewhat awkwardly in the soft white sand. Every few steps she look back over her shoulder as if to make sure he was still behind her.
"It’s going to kill her when you leave again."
"I don’t know what to do, Lauren."
They walked in silence, Caroline returning to walk between the two of them one of their hands in each of hers. The sun was nearly down before they got back to JC’s house. "Do you want to come in?"
"Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I think we probably should turn in early."
He nodded. "Night, Sweetie." He pressed a kiss to Carrie’s forehead. He watched as Lauren turned to walk away, her daughter in her arms. "Lauren…?" She half turned to look at him from the short distance between them. "I’m really sorry… I never meant for any of this to happen like this."
With a sad smile on her lips, she nodded, before turning her back on him and walking away. At the steps, Caroline waved.