A Treasure Worth Seeking
By: Shellie - shelliemg at gmail.com
Chapter 21The morning of Joe and Ami’s wedding dawned clear and beautiful. Perfect, as everything in the couples relationship seemed to be. For a moment, Lauren was filled will jealousy. She stood, remembering her own wedding day, the thunder and rain that had held up the ceremony for nearly two hours. It should have been a clue. Warning, storm ahead.
"Lauren!"
She smiled at the frantic call from the back of her house, the moment of jealousy past. She peeked her head into the spare bedroom and not finding Ami there, called for her softly.
"I’m in the bathroom. I have a zit!"
Lauren laughed under her breath. "What are you talking about?" She followed the sound of Ami’s frantic voice into the bathroom. "Let me see."
"It’s huge! And it’s right there!"
"I don’t see it."
"It’s right freaking there on my nose. I can’t believe it. My wedding day! I’ve been so good! NO chocolate, no soda…fuck!" She bent peering closely in the mirror.
"You don’t have a huge zit you have a itty bitty pink speck. And when you put your make up on it will disappear completely."
"It’s a sign."
Lauren laughed outright. "Oh, Jesus Christ. Calm down. You are going to be gorgeous. Joey’s not going to be able to keep his hands off you!"
Ami snorted. "This no sex ‘til after the wedding is killing me more than him I think. He started kissin’ all over my neck last night and I almost died." She tugged at the collar of her shirt, peering at her neck. "If he’d have given me a hickey, he’d have died."
The door coming in from her back porch squeaked indicating someone’s entrance. Ami’s eyes widened with surprise. "Make sure it’s not Joey! He can’t see me today, I’m going to need enough help keeping him happy as it is, I’m sure as hell not jinxing the marriage before it starts."
Lauren stepped out into the hallway, hiding her reaction when she spotted Joey in her living room. "Out."
"Why?"
"It’s your wedding day and you can’t see the bride before the ceremony."
"Horse shit."
"GET OUT!" Ami’s voice floated out from the bathroom before the door slammed solidly.
Joey rolled his eyes. "You’ve got to be kidding me."
"Nope. If you need something, send someone else."
He turned with a sigh heading back toward the door. "How many hours ‘til this is over with?"
"4pm, between the houses. Be there or I’ll kick your ass."
Joey smiled back at her over his shoulder. "I wouldn’t miss it for the world."
A few minutes later JC appeared. "You had to choose him of all people," Lauren muttered under her breath as she watched JC come inside without knocking.
"Hey."
"Hey back."
"Joey says she flipped out and I’m supposed to see what’s wrong."
"She has a zit."
JC stared at Lauren for a moment before he burst into laughter. He covered his mouth with his hand and turned away. Finally he turned back. "You’re kidding right?"
"Nope. She has a zit and it’s a sign. Their marriage is doomed."
"Oh Jesus. They are freakin’ perfect for each other." He turned and headed back toward Joe’s. "I’ll go back and assure Joe that his soon to be wife hasn’t changed her mind. She’s merely lost it."
He flipped a hand in her direction as he stepped off the porch and Lauren leaned against the window, watching him retreat. She remembered the days when they had been so comfortable with each other. Coming and going from each other’s houses without a care about knocking or locking doors. It seemed so easy for him to fall back into that, like nothing had happened between them and they were just the same as they’d been from the beginning. Maybe coming back had been a mistake after all.
Ami curled her arm around Lauren’s resting her head against her shoulder. She watched JC enter his house and disappear. "You still love him?"
Lauren shrugged. "It doesn’t matter."
"Of course it matters."
"Not when he is who he is."
"He’s not the same person he used to be. The person that came out to this beach house to hide from his future was not the same person who came back. He may not have gotten smarter – his actions proved that much – but he was different."
"So he changed…he still left and never looked back."
"No…he left, but he was facing you the entire time."
* * *
"You look absolutely amazing."
Ami looked up and smiled. "I’m so nervous."
"Well, in an hour it will be finished. You’ll be Mrs. Joseph Fatone and blissfully happy, fucking like rabbits until you fill up Joe’s big house and have to buy a new one to hold all the kids."
Ami made a face. "Oh…that’s a big hell no. Besides, Joe still has like twenty minutes to escape and then there’s always that part of the ceremony when the guy asks if anyone wants to change their mind."
"Ami, you two are perfect for each other. You really have nothing to worry about. You’re going to be married forever."
Ami snorted, "just because we are perfect for each other doesn’t mean all is going to be fine and dandy. I mean look at what happened to you and JC. You two were like a married couple and poof, he just left like an asshole and never called back. Not for any good reason either. If it can happen to you guys it could happen to us."
"There was never any commitment between JC and me. I think he just needed someone to keep him from falling apart next door. Caroline and I filled up an empty place in him but when he got his music back, he didn’t need us to fill that space anymore."
"Just because you didn’t sit down and discuss commitment doesn’t mean there wasn’t any between you. He loved you, Lauren. He’s just stupid and male and fucked it up for no reason."
"I’m sure he had a reason."
"He came over here to ask you to come to Orlando with him."
"What?"
Ami winced, "I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not my secret to tell."
"Too late now. What are you talking about?"
"The day they left and he came over here…you were upset…about your ex husband."
"Yeah…?"
"He came to ask you and Carrie to go with him. But he got jealous because you were upset about your ex and got his ass on his shoulders and left. He wanted you to come with him. He loved you. Personally I think he still does."
Lauren stared dumbly at Ami, here eyes wide with surprise. "Why… He never said… I can’t believe you just did that to me knowing we have to go out there and…he’s going to be there and…. That can’t be true. I… I had no idea. He just said bye and left and I was so hurt. I… I don’t even know what to say."
"I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you. It was so long ago."
"No…I’m glad you did. I guess. I…"
"It’s time!" a deep voice called from the hall. Lance stuck his head in with a smile. "Hurry, I think Joey’s getting ready to bolt!"
Ami’s eyes went wide and Lauren smacked Lance hard. "Shut up! You aren’t helping me! Jeez!"
He chuckled and shook his head. "I’m kidding. He’s waiting outside and said he wants it to hurry up and be finished so he can take his wife to bed. He said it in front of your father too, Ami, so I suggest you hurry before he gets his ass kicked before the ceremony even begins."
Ami grinned and Lauren turned, shoving Lance from the room mumbling as they went. "You better be glad you made her smile. She’s already freaked that Joe isn’t going to stay. You say something like that again and I’m going to kick your ass before the ceremony begins."
They met Ami’s dad in the doorway, on his way to get his daughter. He smiled at Lauren who pointed him toward the door behind where Ami waited impatiently. Nervously, Lauren stepped out onto the back steps realizing when all eyes turned to her that this really was it. She wished she’d peeked one final time in the mirror before coming outside. She stepped down onto the sand, feeling the sand slide between her toes and once again felt a small pang of jealousy. Ami and Joey’s wedding was exactly what they wanted. No image to keep, no social crowd to impress. Just their closest friends and family gathered in the place that they cherished most.
The white lacy linen brushed Lauren’s bare ankles as she made her way to the end of the small aisle of people and stopped, waiting until she saw Ami and her father appear through the screen on her porch. She turned, surprised when she heard the lilting music from an acoustic guitar. Standing a few feet away from where JC and Joey stood at the opposite end of the aisle a tall lean young man stood in cream linen, playing. She didn’t recognize him as someone she’d met before but something about him reminded her immediately of Josh.
An impish head caught her attention as her daughter leaned out into the aisle, dangling from Justin’s lap as she waved at Lauren from the second row. Justin struggled to keep from dumping the child on the ground and Lauren smiled, winking at her little angel as she slowly made her way down the aisle, careful to avoid JC’s intense gaze.
She stepped into place and turned to face the small gathering of people, watching as Ami and her dad made their way into position. She glanced at Joe, her eyes filling with tears at the sight of his face. His mouth was spread wide in a smile that crinkled his eyes, love and adoration for the girl slowly approaching on her fathers arm, filling them completely. She watched his mouth move slowly, I Love You.
Lauren’s eyes slid instinctively to JC’s. His were already on her, bright blue, watching her every move. She forced herself to look away, back to where Ami’s father was handing her to her soon to be husband.
The young man with the guitar stepped closer as JC moved slightly away from Joey and turned to face his long time friend with a smile, his eyes flickering to Lauren every few seconds. Lean fingers strummed the instrument delicately, pulling from it a song she hadn’t heard in ages. When JC began to sing the fight not to watch him was lost. Hypnotized by his angel voice, his sapphire eyes, she had no choice, her gaze was fixed on him, eyes closed as the words slipped from his lips like a prayer.
Whenever I'm weary
From the battles that rage in my head
You make sense of madness
When my sanity hangs by a thread
I lose my way, but still you
Seem to understand
Now and Forever,
I will be your manHis eyes opened slowly, meeting hers, the blue depths holding her captive as if the words he sang were meant only for her to hear.
Sometimes I just hold you
Too caught up in me to see
I'm holding a fortune
That Heaven has given to me
I'll try to show you
Each and every way I can
Now and Forever,
I will be your manNow I can rest my worries
And always be sure
That I won't be alone anymore
If I'd only known you were there
All the time,
All this time.....
Until the day the ocean
Doesn't touch the sand
Now and Forever
I will be your manThe rest of the ceremony flew by in a blur, Lauren fighting back tears as she desperately avoided JC’s eyes and the thoughts that had refused to leave her mind ever since Ami had told her that JC had come to ask her to go with him. One phone call from her sister made five minutes too soon and her life had been changed forever. What if he’d come sooner? What if he’d asked anyway?
**
"Come back from lala land! I’m married! It’s party time, baby!"
Lauren grinned at her friend who was swept away by her new husband just as quickly as she’d appeared. They danced in the waters edge to the endless stream of haunting songs that the man who’d been introduced as Tony had been playing since the food had been put away. The families had stayed for dinner but had headed back to the hotel as nighttime fell along the beach. Only the guys and a few of Joey’s close friends remained at the small bonfire party that had continued into the night. One by one they were turning in until only Joey, Ami, JC, Tony and Lauren remained, Caroline lying sleepily in her arms. The child stirred, sliding to the ground and circling the fire that had dwindled to nothing more than glowing embers. She moved to stand between JC’s knees and stared up at him for a long quiet moment.
The song ended and Tony sat his guitar against the log by his leg, smiling as Joe and Ami continued to dance in the shadows.
"Are you going away again?"
Lauren’s heart jumped through her throat.
"Yes, sweetie. I have to go again. But I’ll come back to see you."
Caroline turned, trotting through the sand toward the house. Lauren’s worried eyes met JC’s across the fire before she stood up and slowly followed her daughter inside. Just as she reached for the door, Carrie appeared again, carrying her favorite bear with her. Lauren stepped back letting the little girl pass. She followed her back to the edge of the fire.
The child walked straight to JC. "Here is my Mr. Joey’s Bear."
"You are giving him to me?" he asked surprised.
"Yes so you can take him wif you. So you won’t miss me so bad when you are away."
JC hunched forward, his body jerking as if he’d been punched. His mouth fell slack as he stared at the child, speechless. Lauren turned away unable to stop the tears that had been threatening to fall all day. Damn him. Damn him for making them love him.
She heard Caroline’s faint sob as JC pulled her into his arms, walking past her and into her house. She didn’t follow. She couldn’t. She had no idea how long she stood there staring at the back door of her house but when reality settled around her once more and she turned, she found herself alone. The fire was out, the newlyweds missing and Tony and his beloved guitar had vanished into thin air. She circled the cooling coals, dropping onto the log where JC had been sitting earlier. She dropped her face to her hands, her hands to her knees and silently she wept.
**
The house was quiet again, the company gone, the chaos, the cheer. Even Caroline was sulky, whining for JC in her bed instead of taking her nap. Unable to cope, Lauren stepped outback, dropping down onto her swing and closing her eyes, rocking unconsciously and letting the squeak of the swing’s chain blur out the thoughts trickling through her troubled mind.
"Hey."
Surprised by the voice she raised her head. He stood on the opposite side of the screen, his arms braced along the wood the way he had once before just days after they’d met. "I didn’t know you were still here."
"I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye, Lauren. To you or to Carrie."
"Is that what you’re doing now?"
"Not unless you make me."
She smirked. "What’s that supposed to mean?"
He circled the end of the porch and stepped inside, not stopping until he was standing directly in front of where she sat. He squatted before her, his hands resting lightly on her knees stopping the back and forth movement of the swing. "It means that I don’t plan on saying goodbye at all this time. Unless you say you don’t want me."
For a long moment her heart stopped beating. Once it resumed, it did so at triple its normal rate. "Josh, I can’t sit here and wait for you to get in the mood to come back."
"I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to come with me. Be with me. You and Caroline. I don’t want you here alone without me. I don’t want to be there without you. Please…I didn’t ask you last time because I was stubborn and stupid. I’m not leaving here again like that. Without you…"
"And if I say no?"
"Then I’ll go and pack my shit and move back in next door until you say yes."
"I can’t pack up my life and my child and follow you around the world until you decide you don’t want us anymore and send us home. I can’t do that to Caroline."
"I wouldn’t ask if that is what I was planning. I care about you both too much. I want you with me. I want you forever, Lauren."
"Josh…"
"Forever."
Her fingers danced lightly over his eyes, along the edge of his hair, down and across his lips. "Forever is a long, long time, Chasez."
"I’ve spent a lot of time in the past year trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life once NSync was over. For a long time, I felt lost. Empty. But then I found you and C, and the group ended up staying together and things changed. At first I thought it was the album. I thought that everything would be perfect and NSync would stay together and the world would be right again but…it just wasn’t the same. The music wasn’t enough anymore. I don’t know if it ever has been. I love you and I know now that what I want to spend the rest of my life doing is making you happy."
"I love you, Josh."
He smiled softly, his lips brushing hers ever so gently as he pulled her into his arms. "Can I take that as a yes?"
"To forever."
"Maybe longer if I’m lucky."